An Open Letter To Everyone Who Loves Me
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Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To Everyone Who Loves Me

I haven't been the easiest to love throughout this past year

Eileen Stremming
Feb 06, 2017
University of Central Florida
420
An Open Letter To Everyone Who Loves Me
Huffington Post

To every person that has been patient with me and has stuck beside me,

I know it hasn't been the easiest job to deal with me throughout this past year. Some days I'm completely okay and I'm doing wonderfully and enjoying life as we know it. Some days I think my depression is gone forever. I know other days that you may worry about me and my safety; living with that knowledge can be frightening. Trust me, I worry about my own safety most days too.

I'm sorry that sometimes you don't know how I'll react because I'm having a bad day. I know I make a lot of self- deprecating jokes and awfully morbid ones, I'm sorry about that. Also, I'm sorry I say "I'm sorry" a lot.

I'm sorry that sometimes it may be hard to have me in your life because I know that I'm a handful. I'm really sorry I have so many triggers and you can't mention certain things or play certain songs around me. I'm sorry I cry a lot. I know that sometimes I can be extremely sensitive, so I'm sorry that sometimes you have to walk on pins and needles around me. Please, for all that is good, try to get me out of my head. I know I'm sensitive but that's okay, I know I'll be okay.

But anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for letting me always cry. Thank you for letting me gush about how much I care about you and other people in my life. Thank you for being a part of my life as I figure myself out. Thank you for being so kind and understanding while I go through an adjustment period once again.

Thank you for checking up on me. Thank you for forcing me to go to therapy.

Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for paying attention to me and all of the little things. Thank you for being here. Thank you for all the cute pictures and text reminders that I matter. Thank you for force-feeding me. Thank you for taking me out and forcing me to try to enjoy life. Thank you for making me come out of my bedroom and thank you for being you.

My heart is full when I think about how many people matter to me and how many people I matter to.I've met so many beautiful human beings and have yet to travel to all of the beautiful places in this world that exist.Some days I really think about how the world could be better off without me, but that's my depression speaking. I have a purpose in this world and I won't leave without knowing that I have made an impact in it.

I would like you to know that you matter more to me than you could ever possibly imagine.

When my depression tells me that I serve no purpose because I'm a waste of space, I think of you and every single person's heart that I have touched regardless of how big of an impact I've made. I think about my cats and how they wouldn't have their cat momma anymore. I matter.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, thank you for continuing to support me and love me unconditionally as I try to overcome my depression.

Lots of love,
The depressed girl with a big heart and big dreams

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