First of all, I want to apologize. I took you for granted; we all did. I couldn’t wait for high school, to drive, to move out, to drink. I spent so much time counting the days until I could do all those things, I never stopped and looked at all the things I could already do.
I miss you. I miss the lack of responsibility. Multiplication tables, keeping my room clean and leveling up my Pokémon were about the only things keeping me up at night. I miss never having to pay for anything. Seriously, bless my parents because I always had food in my mouth, clothes on my back and toys to play with. I miss being driven everywhere. I miss everyone being my friend, I miss elementary school parties and recess. I miss the neighbor kids and drinking from the hose and staying out until dark and being sad to say goodbye but it was all going to be okay because we would just get up and do it again tomorrow. I miss playgrounds and water balloon fights. I miss the “my dad can beat up your dad” arguments and trading snacks at lunch. “I’ll give you my Cheez-its for your Oreos.” “Deal.” I miss naps in class and hating them. Oh, the things I would do to be able to take a 30-minute nap at work now. I miss being cute. No matter what I said or how I looked or what I did I was always cute. I still think I’m cute but I guess no one feels the need to tell me anymore. I miss you Childhood, all of you.
I was so eager to escape your label of “child" — reason being I knew adults could do anything. They did what they wanted when they wanted and they answered to no one. I couldn’t wait to stay up as late as I want and to eat whatever I wanted. I would be in charge and I would make the rules. The older I got, however, I realized there was a little tiny asterisk next to that word anything. I found out (unbeknownst to my 8-year-old self) that there are still rules in adulthood. Instead of teachers and parents, it became professors and bosses. Ice cream for dinner made for a bad stomachache the next morning and staying up all night didn’t mean you could wake up later for work. 8:00 A.M. hits awful hard on five hours of sleep. Now it’s worry about this, worry about that, work, bills, homework, money and grades. I didn’t ask for this.
So Childhood, I sit here kicking myself for not appreciating all the gifts you gave me, reminiscing on all the memories we made, hoping that I can fall back into your innocence. Albeit too late, I realize now adulthood isn’t all I cracked it up to be. And if you are a child reading this, wear that label proudly, because this is the best time of your life.
Thank you Childhood,
An adult not ready to be an adult yet
