Have you ever felt worthless and unloved, like you are burden to those around you? I have. I used to think that I was worthless, unloved and unwanted by those around me. I always used to felt like I was difficult to put up with despite others telling me that it was crazy and untrue. It took me years to think otherwise and to actually believe it. It is hard to see past the darkness that is inside of you and bring yourself back into the light of day. I have done it more times then I can count but somehow I always managed find myself right back where I started. The reasons varied sometimes it came out of nowhere, sometimes it was because of a boy who was ignoring me and I couldn’t figure out why, but mostly it was because of some of the people I was surrounding myself with. I was friends with some of most self absorbed and toxic people that I have ever met in my life and it took me so long to see that I wasn’t the problem, it was them. They had this way of bringing me right down to their level, their mood for the day became my mood. If I was happy, it was because of them and same would go for sad. My entire life and existence revolved around them. Others would try to drag me out of it but once I was in too deep, it was too late. I had already been cast under their spell. I became a different person someone who cared what others thought and who would bend over backwards for someone who would never do the same for me. I valued their attention and opinions. I tried so hard to fit into their life and with their friends and I never saw that I was always on the outside looking in at what seemed like such a nice life. It was hard to break out of that. At some point, I broke. I finally saw them for who they really were their true colors would come out and for a while, I wouldn’t talk to them but eventually they would reel back in with their sweet words and remorse. It was a horrible cycle. Eventually, it took one of them deciding they didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I was the one who made it all about me for me to actually see that this was crazy. Looking back and then seeing that person a year ago and remembering how they made me feel about myself, makes me so happy that they were the one who ended the friendship. I found my self confidence again. I realized that there was more to life then being friends with someone who was so draining and negative all the time. Once I cut the toxic people out of my life, I noticed I was happier and more invested in spending time with people who actually cared about me and not ones who pretended to just to make themselves feel better. I am worth more then that. I deserve to be cared for and to be loved. I wish I had realized it sooner. I lost a lot of weight both mentally, physically and emotionally when I stopped talking to them. I live a fuller and better life because of it. I no longer allow myself to feel miserable. Happiness is so much more rewarding and worth my time. You are what you allow. If you allow misery, it is what you will be. Miserable people are not worth your time. Negativity holds no place in my life anymore and I am better for it. You are worth more then you think you are. You just have to start believing it. Surround yourself with people who love you and who actually value you and your presence in their lives. Never let anyone make you feel like you are burden to them because you are not. You are a person with feelings and opinions that deserve to be heard and respected by others. You are worth knowing and loving. It took me so long to see that about myself but I promise you that it is possible to see it and even more possible to believe it.