To anyone who has experienced loss or change,

I want to share my story with you. When I was younger, my family was my rock. Everything revolved around my family. My father passed away when I was eight and my world came to a crashing halt. When I think back to that time, the image that comes up in my mind is like a time lapse photo where I am standing still and everything around me is moving. It was all a blur. My world stopped spinning but the rest of the world moved on. Part of me felt that if I continued on with my life, it would be disrespectful to my father and it would be as if I was leaving him behind. This feeling very slowly went away over the years and one day I realized that my world had begun to spin again and, for the most part, everything felt okay again. When I think about it now, things got better because I found a different rock. I put my heart and soul into my education. For years after my father passed away, my mother struggled to build a new life for us. Everything that she did was for me and my best interest and I admire her so much for that, but things were constantly changing: new living situations, new schools, new father figures. I am personally not good at changes and that’s why, instead of relying on family, I relied on school. For my foreseeable future, I would always have school and I would always be good at it. Slowly, my life began to settle down. My family felt like a family again, I made best friends and I fell in love.

Then, I left for college. I figured that nothing could compare to the death of my father and that I was prepared for any changes that could come my way. I prized myself on being an extremely adaptable person and I thought I was ready to make a big move. But the pain of leaving for college felt similar to the pain from the death of my father and I didn’t even realize it until a year later. I realize that in high school, I was happy because I had amazing friends and I was involved in school and activities.

When I came to college without my family, without my friends and without the guy I loved, I let my world stop spinning again. I didn’t try to go out and make new best friends because I was content with my old friends and didn’t think anyone else could ever compare. I stayed in to Skype my boyfriend instead of joining new clubs and taking leadership positions. I didn’t realize I was miserable until the end of my freshman year. I noticed that I was lonely because my best friends from home had new best friends and I hadn’t tried to make deep connections with anyone In college. I also felt like I lacked a sense of purpose because I had been so much more involved in high school. After recognizing this, I began to make changes to put myself back where I wanted to be. I joined more clubs, started doing research and started to spend more time getting to know my sorority sisters. College was a rocky start for me but I think I am where I want to be now.

Everyone’s life is different, everyone handles change differently and you may very well be a lot more equipped to handle loss or change, but I want you to know that it is okay to live your life and it doesn’t mean you are leaving your past behind. Do what makes you happy. Make new friends, make new memories, stay involved. The best thing you can do for your family and friends is to make sure you stay happy.

Don’t let your world stop spinning.

With love,

An Ever-Changing Girl