Everyone is guilty of this. No one is innocent. We all have that moment when we get involved in someone else’s drama. Whether the topic of conversation happens to be about that girl you can’t stand or that boy you really wish would fall for you because you have a huge crush on him, we all have a moment where we say something we shouldn’t have. It makes us feel better in the end after venting about the person or situation that made us simmer, but do we ever stop to think about how this affects other people if it got out?
The sad truth is that most of us do not even think about the other person when committing this type of fault. By involving yourself in the nasty gossip that you hear at work, at school or in your personal lives, the words we say eventually end up hurting others. If you just read that and said to yourself, “Wow, I’m so guilty of this," I’m here to tell you that you are not alone in this nasty habit. This habit that we all get sucked into can be even nastier to break. I’m here to give you some helpful hints that I have found to help me not commit this crime.
Think before you say anything to anyone that could get out
Check your perceptions and see if you are in the wrong for saying something in the situation. It can be hard to stop and think about the gossip you are hearing from your friends, family or coworkers and consider if the rumor is an accurate piece of information. It can also be hard to stop yourself from saying anything in response to the rumor, especially if it offends you or anyone you care about. I like to ask myself three simple questions when I’m dealing with a rumor that I want to respond to: “If I heard this rumor about myself, how would I feel?”, “If the rumor were about me, how would hearing this rumor affect the things that make me happy in my life?” and “Is the rumor any of my business?” When you take the time to stop and think about the answers to these questions, more likely than not, the rumor will be stopped with you and no longer spread to ruin other people’s happiness.
If the rumor or comment offends you or makes you upset, remove yourself from the situation first and give yourself time to think about it
I always like to consider the comment or issue for a day or so and if I’m not upset about the comment or issue later, it’s not worth responding to or continuing to spread at all. The more negative words we hear, the more likely we are to spread negative words about others. By being able to step away and think about the situation at hand, you are able to check your emotions and let your emotions come back to a normal level before you say anything detrimental to anyone else which in return, brings benefits to both you and the person the rumor is being spread about. I like to call this squashing the problem at hand.
Remind yourself before you speak that words have power and can emotionally, spiritually and physically hurt other people
As much as some people say “take it with a grain of salt” or “let it go in one ear and out the other,” everyone who has ever had a rumor spread about them or someone they care about knows that gossip can be extremely painful. Words have enormous power and words do hurt people, whether they are true or not. Something we should all think about, no matter our age or gender, is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you say anything. Try and consider how you would feel before you speak about someone else.
