Although I don’t consider myself a truly romantic person by any means, I feel like Hozier's song "Someone New" describes me pretty accurately -- I do fall in love just a little bit, every day, with someone new. However, there are just a few crushes that I’ve had throughout the years that manage to really stand out to me. Each one taught me something different, something valuable and they’ll probably never know how much of an impact they had on my life and how much they helped me become the person I am today. As I get ready to leave school behind me and start a new chapter in my life, I’ve decided to take a look at the impact that my crushes have had on me.
To My Middle School Crush:
Thank you for teaching me that people can be forgiving, no matter how horribly you acted towards them and how badly you handled various situations. You taught me how to say “no” as clearly and firmly as possible, and made me realize that unfortunately, sometimes “no” isn’t enough and people can be doggedly persistent. I learned that no matter how awkward a situation or relationship might have once been, there’s always hope for rekindling that original friendship and respect. I’m sorry for the way I treated you, although I’ll blame it on being too young to really understand how to handle that situation.
To My High School Crush:
Thank you for helping me discover a part of myself. I wouldn’t be who I am today without that. You taught me how to accept myself and be comfortable with who I am, and made me understand that when I commit to a relationship, I need to commit 100 percent because it’s not fair to the other person if I’m not just as invested as they are. Thank you for being a good friend to me first and for putting up with my wishy-washyness. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be what you needed — you deserved better than that.
To My Work Crush:
Thank you for making each day at that nut house entertaining and easier to get through. Your running commentary on things and random bits of TMI made the shift go by much more quickly. You allowed me to feel more confident about my looks and never made me feel like I was annoying you. However, I also learned that sometimes that’s not enough. Your slow-to-respond text messages showed me that I wasn’t worth your time or attention, and I deserve better than to be the one constantly starting conversations. I also learned that every situation is not as it seems, and that sometimes, keeping quiet is better than that awkward and depressing rejection. You’re still fun to hang out with.
To My College Crush:
Thank you for allowing me to open up a bit and be more of myself. You taught me that it’s OK to be weird and goofy, and to always have fun. However, you also helped me realize I deserve more than a quarter of your attention and months of silence, no matter how close we were the month before. And again, I learned that I need to read each situation more carefully before allowing myself to fall and be treated with disrespect. We’re going on seven months now — let’s see how long it takes for you to text me first.
To My Disney Crush:
I haven’t met you yet, I don’t even know if you'll exist, but I’m simultaneously excited to see what I’ll learn from you and scared that it won’t be anything new or interesting. I hope we become good friends, and get to have grand adventures and a lot of fun before we eventually go our separate ways. Hopefully we get to make a lot of memories together, even if they’re just of us managing to get through our shift.
To each of these crushes, thank you for making memories with me, laughing with me and growing with me. I’m sorry we don’t talk much anymore, but I’m so grateful for the time and friendship I had with each one of you. I hope you get to make someone else laugh and learn, and I hope someone gets to have that effect on you, too. Don't be afraid to let yourself fall. Let your be captivated by those bright, blue eyes; that charming (or annoying) laugh; fall in love with the way they say your name. Life is too short to hold yourself back and keep your feelings stamped down. Let yourself go, live and love a little. That's what makes life interesting.
