I owe you the biggest "sorry" in the universe. I made the mistake of viewing you as this magnificently, unique guy which in turn made you struggle to live up to those expectations. Expectations that you aren't even a fraction of the way close to meeting. Let's dive into reality for a second, shall we? The reality of life, and make sure this sticks, is that when you are hopelessly falling for someone, they are not being paid to return those feelings for you. There is zero obligation. My boosted ego told me that since I showed you so much attraction, you had no choice but to want to be with me just as equally. After all, there I was, available and willing to put time into making us the next Beyonce and Jay-Z. Well maybe not Jay and Bey. You see, they're filthy rich and we have student loans. It doesn't work like that. Anyhow, there is this fascinating thing called chemistry. It doesn't matter that we could be the most perfect two in the whole scientific galaxy, if the chemistry isn't there, we cannot force it. So we didn't. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you (even though you did mislead me to catch feelings for you) or wrong with me. All that you proved to me is that being a couple just wasn't in the cards for us.

I remember my first time crossing paths with you like it was yesterday. It was around the start of Pledge Week at Faulkner, and you were one of the few people who actually made me laugh throughout those (semi-)miserable days. But you were nothing more than a cute face at the time. Nothing worth phoning home to Mama about. As time progressed, however, I must have gotten the wrong idea. Between our messages that led into the wee hours of the morning most nights, the shared personal stories, the flirty compliments, the inside jokes, even the post-Jamboree snapchats of me stuffing my face at Chili's that made you laugh, confused me and convinced me that you felt the same way. Post-crush, I went as far as to question so many aspects that could have led to you not viewing me in that way. Was it because I was too stubborn? Because it would have been interracial? Was it because I could eat more teriyaki wings than you could? I quizzed myself for days on end before I came to the correct conclusion. You wouldn't have stood a chance with someone like me. I say what's on my mind without doubt and make it clear that even though I may want you, if you aren't A) My Lord and Savior or B) My Daddy who aided in the creation of my existence, I don't need you. I love people and you only had eyes for yourself.

Losing my affection for you wasn't a complete loss though. I moved on to accept that one day I will have chemistry with someone. No, I'm not going to wait around and search high and low for him, but I will be much more observant the second time around. I hope that you don't think that I'm closing up shop and giving up on that person I deserve because you just so happened to have fallen short. I pray that you aren't too offended by anything I've said to you, if you are, that is not longer my problem. This isn't a bakery, so I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you. Thank you for truly opening my eyes to the fact that boys suck. Not men, just boys like you (sorry, not sorry). I honestly still do wish you the best of luck in life. And thank you for helping me dodge a bullet.