I'm sorry.

I know you don't know why I'd be apologizing to you, but you may start to understand.

Politics

My views have always been much different than yours. I am pretty liberal, while you are much more conservative, and though political views should not have an impact on relationships, they do. Our political views impact the way we manage everyday life, and no one view is greater than the other. That being said, we are different in one of the largest ways, at least in our household. For a long time, I was influenced by your views. Maybe it was because I succumb to peer pressure pretty easily, or maybe it was because I wanted to avoid fighting. However, in high school, I began to develop my own opinions, and we both know that they were strong. I, unlike you, loved Obama as president, and I loved what he did for us because even though he did some things you do not approve of, he is the reason we still have a home.

I'm sorry that I had to lie to you about who I voted for, but you didn't know that, and because you do not have social media, you may never read this and know that. I had to lie to you because the person I voted for is not someone you would be willing to hear, but I'm not sorry for casting that vote, I'm sorry for not being willing to tell you.

Hating You

I'm sorry you were the root of all my anger. I did not understand then, but I understand now how much that hurt you. I didn't understand before I went to college how much you love me because your expression of love is much different than the expression I most desired. Being away from school, I understand that you have never really had a daughter around as much as I was, so you were unsure how to reach to us. I understand now just sending you a weekly text letting you know how I am doing is enough to keep you at peace.

However, I still don't understand why you treat me so different compared to my brothers. I'm sorry I fail to understand that, but I am unsure if I can ever understand. I'm sorry I fail to understand the reason for a lot of your choices, but like we have already acknowledged, I am very different than you.

I'm sorry I have been independent of you for as long as I remember. This is simply because I did not understand you, so I decided that if I was not reliant on you, I would not have to be hurt by you. You do not know this, nor does anyone besides the human that hired me for this company, but my submission article that got me the job was about how you were not there for me. I submitted this article when I was a high school junior. Little did I know then, that you were there for me, but you were there in the background, going unnoticed.

I'm sorry I hated you for not going to my games or events throughout school. I saw all the other parents out at our basketball and softball games, but you guys were not there. I knew you two were at my brothers' games, and I knew you were not at mine, and I hated you for it. I hated you because I thought you did not care, but now I understand. I'm still unsure when it comes to some reason why, but I do not hate you anymore for it.

You may never see this, and if you do it will be because Mom showed you this article, but I no longer blame you for all that went wrong within myself. I have become more self-aware now, and I understand you are not the reason for my mental illness. You are not the reason little things had such a big impact on my life, and you are not the root of all evil.

I am sorry that we will still argue, a lot, but I no longer hate you. I am sorry I spent so much time of my life not being grateful for the little things you did. I understand now.