An Accurate Timeline Of A Night Out: Girls Versus Guys

An Accurate Timeline Of A Night Out: Girls Versus Guys

The fundamentals are the same, but the process is entirely different.

Saturday night is the best night of the week--you get to sleep in, laze around all day, and then go out at night. The anticipation of this night is what gets most college students through the week. That being said, there's no doubt that there's a difference between what constitutes a girls' night out versus the guys'.

Here's an accurate timeline of both.

Girls' Night Out

7:35 PM: Shower.

8:02 PM: Blow dry hair.

8:27 PM: Start to curl hair.

8:29 PM: Get bored, grab a glass of wine.

8:31 PM: Continue to curl hair, while lip syncing to Beyoncé in the bathroom mirror.

9:00 PM: Put on foundation and blush. Think to self "let me try something different with eye makeup today."

9:05 PM: Paint eyes until black.

9:07 PM: Use seven different types of mascara to get ultimate length and volume.

9:10 PM: Lipstick. It's a lipstick kind of night.

9:12 PM: Stares in mirror, face is past recognition. Eyes look slightly raccoon-like. Hate it.

9:13 PM: Take off all make-up.

9:15 PM: Redo all make-up until satisfied or girls are at the door.

9:40 PM: Take shot.

9:41 PM: Try on every outfit in your closet only to choose the first one you tried on.

10:00 PM: Take shot.

10:05 PM: Take pictures. LOTS of pictures. Call dibs on which one you want to Instagram.

10:30 PM: Text boy of interest "Hey, you going out tonight?"

10:35 PM: Regret text.


11:00 PM: Get in Uber. Annoy Ask driver if they have an aux cord.


11:15 PM: Enter bar. Stand in tight circle with your friends around bar, eyeing prospective drink buyers and cute guys while inwardly cursing yourself for wearing five inch heels.

11:30 PM: End up buying your own drink. "Just this round, okay girls?" Chug.

11:45 PM: Weird guy offers to buy you a drink. Kamikaze it is.

12:00 AM: Go on other floor to hide from said weird guy, have your girls create a barrier between you two if he follows.

12:08 AM: IT'S YOUR SONG. Shove your way to the center of the dance floor and scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs while simultaneously booty-shaking and finger pointing. Why don't guys like you again?

12:20 AM: Someone comes up behind and starts dancing with you. Turn around to see who the beautiful man is.

12:21 AM: Creeper alert! ABORT. ABORT SITUATION.

12:25 AM: Cute guy sighting. Attempt to make eye contact so you can win him over with your smize.

12:27 AM: Why won't he look over? Eye starts to twitch from smizing so hard.

12:30 AM: Casually walk past him with intent to fake bump into him and apologize; he'll fall in love when he sees your face.

12:33 AM: Bump into him too hard by accident, he spilled some of his drink. On you.

12:45 AM: Cute guy bought you a drink, now you're dancing. All part of the plan, ladies.

1:30 AM: Drunk bathroom selfies and snap stories to show the world how much FUN your life is.

1:45 AM: Last call. Cute guy tries to take you home.

1:47 AM: Glare at him. "HOW COULD YOU?! IT'S GIRLS' NIGHT!" then wink and half-nod ok.

1:48 AM: Cute guy is confused and says sorry and walks away. HOW? Your hint was so obvious!

2:00 AM: Uber home, stopping for Cook-Out on the way back.

2:30 AM: Pass out while texting in the GroupMe about how much you love girls' night and hate boys

Guys night out

9:00 PM: Showers. With shower beer.

9:05 PM: Wears basic shirt and pastel shorts.

9:07 PM: Sprays cologne.

9:08 PM: Turns on TV. Grabs beer.

9:15: PM: Beer.

9:25 PM: Another one.

10:00 PM: Guys come over. With beer.

10:05 PM: Shotguns beer.

11:00 PM: Gets in Uber for downtown.

11:15 PM: Walks in bar, past weird-looking cluster pods of girls that are hovering right next to the bar. Orders beer.

11:35 PM: Talks to girls whose friends are not creating a physical barrier between her and guys.

12:33 AM: Semi-cute chick rams into you and spills some of your drink.

12:40 AM: Buys said girl a drink.

1:00 AM: Dances with girl while her friends keep a close watch. It's kind of creepy, actually.

1:45 AM: Asks girl if she wants to get a "ride back" with you. Such a gentleman.

1:47 AM: Publicly denied. Girl is doing some weird head spasm thing and winks after denying you. What?

1:48 AM: Walks away. Still have a solid 12 minutes to find a girl.

2:00 AM: Girl acquired. Subtley tries to high-five guys on the way out.

2:30 AM: Passes out post-hookup.

And there you have it.

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11 Things You Understand If You Hate Physical Contact

Please keep your hands and feet away from me at all times.

We currently live in a world where EVERYONE LIKES TO TOUCH EACH OTHER. People enjoy hugs, high fives, tapping others on the shoulder, pokes, ect. For someone like you and me (I'm assuming you too since you clicked on this article), this is the WORST thing in the world. Whenever I think of someone touching me (even just a poke) without my permission my reaction is like Sofia Vergara in Modern Family.

I mean, when I take that love languages quiz, physical touch is always on the bottom of my preferences. So I thought to my self, you know I can't be the only person in the world that hates physical touching. So here are 11 things every person who hates physical touch will understand:

1. When people tickle you

I don't care that it's just for fun and jokes; I'm not laughing because I want to, you are literally forcing me to laugh. I hate you, get your greasy hands off of me before I make you get them off of me.

2. When people think they need to tap your shoulder to get your attention

As if simply saying "Hey" followed by my name wasn't enough. I don't need your grubby little fingers touching me. Now I'm annoyed with you before this conversation even started, what do you want?

3. When someone you barely know reaches in for a hug

I don't know who the heck you're thinking you're about to hug because it sure isn't going to be me. Hugs are reserved for people I know well and like, not you. Okay release me now, I am not enjoying this. LET ME GO.

4. When people tell you that you aren't an affectionate person

Are you aware there are ways to show my affection without constantly being all over you like a koala bear? Yes, I'm affectionate, hop off.

5. When someone is in your personal space

We could be best friends, we could be complete strangers. We could be lovers, I could hate your guts. We could be in private, we could be in public. I don't care what the situation is, if you're in my personal space uninvited GET OUT. There is no reason to be so close to me unwarranted.

6. You don't know how to comfort people

When you see an upset loved one, most people think they you should comfort then by pulling them into a long lasting hug. But, that's the kind of things that your nightmares are literally made out of. So, you stand there confused how you should comfort your friend/relative while also not sacrificing your touch moral code.

7. When people say you "look like you could use a hug"

Um no. I never could use one, get off of me. I will let you know when I want one.

8. When you're hugging someone wondering how soon you can release

Please end my suffering.

9. When you arrive at a social gathering and people rush to greet you with hugs

Let's not.

10. When you try to leave a social gathering by just waving to get out of goodbye hugs

Please no one make me hug you.

11. That one person who is allowed to hug you/touch you

This person, typically a significant other or best friend, gets to break all the "no touch" rules and we gladly accept their hugs and cuddles and public displays of affection. But only them, no one can copy them.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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7 Reasons 'Starset' Deserves To Get Big

The main reason they deserve success is that they love everything they do.


Starset consists of four members, Dustin Bates, Ron DeChant, Brock Richards, and Adam Gilbert. The band was formed in Columbus, Ohio in 2013. Their music has influenced my and several others lives.

Here are a few reasons why they deserve to go down as one of the biggest bands in history.

1. They're the most original band I've heard in awhile.

Starset's content is unlike any other band I've heard or seen before. They classify themselves as "space rock", creating a type of music that many have never heard of before. They use your regular guitar, bass, and drums, but they also incorporate the use of violins, cellos, and synthesizers to create the unique, one of a kind sound. The lead singer, Dustin Bates, even created his own microphone that distorts his voice to use in live shows, so that you feel as though he's speaking to you through a radio in a space station.

2. They're all a bunch of nerds/dorks.

Starset is the kind of band that you'd love to be friends with. Not only are they wicked smart, they also have an amazing sense of humor. They incorporate their knowledge into the songs that they write, leaving you wanting to learn more about what it is they write in their songs.

3. Their songs are lyrically and melodically beautiful.

Ricochet is one of their most impactful and meaningful songs. When you first listen to it you can hear the emotion in Dustin's voice, but as you take a minute to listen to the lyrics, you realize it has so much more meaning than what you assumed. It represents the struggle of a relationship gone sour, the internal struggles within yourself, and the effect it has on both people in the relationship. It's a song that a lot of people can relate to, and I find that amazing.

4. They interact with and care about their fans.

Nyah Kite

Before their shows, they do eat and greets where they hang out with their fans, eat pizza, perform some acoustic songs, and take pictures with them. They have genuine conversations with them, asking us our names, what we like to do, and just keep up small talk. My brother, pictured here, had a conversation with Ron, the bassist, before the show started and they got along phenomenally. I don't know many bands who take that much time to get to know their fans and they even interact with them on Twitter.

5. Have comics with Marvel.

The Prox Transmissions - Marvel Comics

Not only does Starset create music, they also have their own comics with Marvel. The comics are based on an alternate world they created through their music. Each album has a story, but now it's come to life through their comic, The Pros Transmissions. How dope is that?

6. Created their own society to inform the world of various things.

The Starset Society is a mission, created by Starset, to inform others of the up-coming technological advances happening in the world today. The main goal of this society is to make sure we're well aware of the things happening in the world, and it's not just aimed for the fans of Starset. It's influenced by the idea of Thomas Jefferson that says the first step toward a guided future is an informed public.

7. They love what they do.

Nyah Kite

The main reason they deserve success is that they love everything they do. They put so much work into making their shows interactive and enjoyable, and they spend years working on albums so that they and their fans are pleased with the final product. Knowing that they put so much passion and effort into their work makes it obvious that they deserve to be one of the biggest bands in history.

After learning more about this amazing, influential band, aren't you intrigued to hear more of their music? To learn more about their society and their comics? They're great people with a great purpose driving them to continue creating some of the most unique, epic rock sounds in history. Check out Starset. You won't regret it.

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