What is this stigma behind being a housewife? Is it because people think they’re uneducated? Is it because they don’t bring in additional income to the family? Well, let me tell you something. If my mother wasn’t a stay-at-home-mom, my life wouldn’t have been half as luxurious as it was growing up.
As an Indian housewife, my mother is beyond the perfect image. When I was in school, her day started off bright and early at 5:30 a.m. She would come into my room to wake me up gently, and then go get ready herself. Once she knew I went into the bathroom to shower, she would then go downstairs and start making our house-special South-Indian coffee for herself and my dad. I would go downstairs after getting ready while my mother prepares me a hot breakfast -- one of the best perks of having a stay-at-home mom! Do you have a mom that makes you hot idlis or dosas with sambar and chutney for breakfast??
Then as I leave for school, my mother would tell me to have a good day and wave bye as I left the driveway. She gave me the best start to the day every day.
After I leave, my mother would help my dad get ready. This would include many many, many more tasks! First, she would lay out a set of clothes for my father and then go downstairs to prepare his lunch. She would pack his lunch that she would have cooked the night before and while she’s at it, she would pack him a small breakfast to go because he would never have time to sit down and eat. Finally, just like she does to me, she would wave bye to my father as he leaves for work, brightening his day just like she does mine.
Once we leave, you would think she gets a break, right? But, no, her work actually increases here! Once we leave, my mother would get ready herself and start her daily routines. I’ll tell you something. Being a mother who migrated from India to America for her family is something that seems like the hardest job in the world. Part of my mom’s daily routines have to do with calling all the relatives we have in India to catch up or make sure they’re all healthy and well. This isn’t exactly a difficult task, but what’s difficult is talking to them every day and missing them greatly because of not being able to see them when you want. At least for me, my brother, or my father, this can’t be the hardest thing because we’re always consumed by our full-time classes, or job that sometimes we forget to acknowledge the presence of our relatives back in our homeland. I couldn’t be more thankful that my mom at least tries her best to keep up with everyone and give them daily updates on the changes in our life. Without her, I feel that my family would lose complete touch with our relatives; she honestly holds this family together.
A big part of my mother’s day consists of something she loves to do: cooking for the family. The biggest truth in this entire article? My mother is the best cook in this world. I’m not kidding you, she can make anything Indian (north or south), American, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Mexican or just about any other cuisine if she tried. The best part is that almost every day, my mother tries her best to make the family’s favorite dishes. This could include crispy dosas with her special sambar recipe or it could be something fun like plain puri! FYI -- she makes these little puris on her own, sometimes. One thing that I love about my mother is that she has this passion to learn how to cook everything -- and from scratch, too! Without my mother’s food or her passion for cooking, I would have never found a huge love for food or the same passion to bake.
Now that I’m in college, my mom’s job doesn’t get any easier. Poor thing, always thinks about me 24/7! She always has to know that I’m eating properly, keeping up my grades, spending good time with my friends… and most importantly that I’m sane and happy! I never tell her this, but her calls always get me through the day. It’s always so nice to know that there’s someone waiting for you at home, wanting to know that you’re okay and taking care of yourself.
I feel really badly for Amma, sometimes. She didn't realize what career she would have loved to pursue until it was too late! When she was in high school, my mother never had any real passions to pursue as a career... nonetheless she performed well in school! But she picked a major that was irrelevant and ended up as my father's wife. After moving to the United States and learning more about the world around her, my mother realized that she has a passion for interior design. She loves decorating a house, looking at various designs for a house, and everything in that category. If she had realized her passion back then, I know Amma would have worked really hard at what she loved and achieved great heights. It's not even that my mom couldn't have gotten a job easily either. She chose to not go to work because she knew her daughter would be pretty upset to not see her every day once she came home from school. She would rather be at home waiting to see my face exhausted or excited, rather than take a job that had nothing to do with what she actually wanted to do.
This is exactly why I'm completely against the stigma behind being a housewife. Many housewives, especially of Indian culture, don't just go into being a housewife because it was their ultimate goal. It's because they don't realize what they want to do with their life until it's too late. Or maybe they realize what they want to do, but cultural expectations restrict them from pursuing their passions. Housewives shouldn't be judged for those reasons. Honestly, having a housewife as a mom is something I am very thankful for. Seeing my mother every day, having her there for any emergency, having someone to help me with the small things throughout my day -- those factors played an important role in my childhood and still play a factor in my life today. Even if my mother did not go to work, she has helped to maintain a household and raise two children perfectly (I mean come on, I'm pretty great). Today, I must thank her for everything's she's done for me while being at home. And I tell my peers -- if your mother is a stay-at-home mom, be thankful. There are so many things you'll be missing if your mother was working. And never take any housewife mom for granted. I know I surely wouldn't.
