I'm in a pickle. My life isn't where I want it to be because I'm stagnant and everything around me keeps moving, pushing me along with it. I resist, trying to pull away from it. They say when you find the truth; when you find who you really are, then the path to where you need to go becomes clear - a path of no resistance.
But who am I, aside from how my parents view me, how my friends view me, how strangers view me and how teachers view me; aside from the perfect idea of myself, an accumulation of ideas from the outside world ingrained in my mind? Who am I?
When we were young, we were authentic. We gave zero f*cks about what anyone said. We laughed and smiled at everyone and everything stared in amazement at the simplest objects, and most importantly, we were unafraid of doing things we felt was right. We didn't have to tell ourselves over and over again that we were confident enough to do something - we just did it. Everything was natural to us.
As we grew older, we agreed to most of what people say: "You're an adult now, you have to be responsible," and, "Don't do that, do this." We observed what everyone was doing and assumed that if we did what they did, we'd get the same results. Which is why we stumble.
We look at what everyone around us is doing, we listen to what everyone says is trending right now and we listen to everything people disapprove of. With all of these views and the choices they present to us, it becomes hard to decide which is the right path. So how do we decide? We oversimplify to get everyone's opinions. We find everything in common with their successes and sayings, then do that.
However, there's extremely more to an individual's life than going to school and getting a degree or becoming extroverted to gain connections or getting an internship that guarantees success. Everyone can have a mixture of all of that, as well as other spontaneous things they love incorporated into their life. They have their own emotions, situations and obstacles melted into their story. All I ask is to reflect on this.
Everyone can be saying the same thing about what you should do and everyone can be telling you different things based on their own experiences and stories, but you know yourself better than anyone else. You know how you feel when you did something wrong when you could be doing something else. You know when you should reach out to someone because he or she seems hurt, and you know when you should leave someone alone. You know when you must take a risk to be yourself.
Who am I? Only I know that. Only I can feel when something is wrong and when I should be doing something else and etc. I'm not defined by a specific character. So, who are you? Only you know that.
