As someone who has struggled with depression and being nervous about everything not being completely perfect, I know what it's like to spiral. I know what it is like to see yourself in the mirror and not recognize the person standing there. But like every other bad time in a person's life, in mine and yours, these times will come to pass. I understand how hard it can be to get out of bed, run a comb through your hair, and even get the energy to do things you once loved to do. So here are three books by Amanda Lovelace, who shows her pain through her writing and has used her gift to become a loved author, my favorite poet, and a huge inspiration when bad times in my life seem like they won't ever end.
Warning: However, I will give trigger warnings for these books. Triggers include but are not limited to: suicide, eating disorders, domestic abuse, violence, sexual assault, trauma, drugs/alcohol, death, and fire.
1. "The Princess Saves Herself In This One"
"When someone offers to save you make it your mission to save yourself. - i believe in you"
This book follows the journey of the narrator as she learns to believe in herself. Her words are full of pain and confusion. Amanda writes about her childhood, an abusive love, and how she came to love herself. The book also speaks of grief, death, and missing someone so much it hurts. Struggles can be overcome, and while towards the end there is a new pure love "sweeter than honey," she comes to believe in herself. Everything is possible because she can do it on her own. After all, sometimes you have to be able to overcome things on your own.
2. "The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One"
"If the stars can burn without dying, then who's to say I can't do the same?"
Amanda writes about the type of abuse that women have endured for centuries. She writes about the fear of becoming a warning story for younger girls, the reality of being a woman, and the struggles that have been endured in women's lifetimes. The second half of the book is full of poems for empowerment, self-love, and growing into the woman you are.
3. "The Mermaid's Voice Returns In This One"
"I don't write what I write to hurt you. - I write what I write to heal me."
Amanda writes about losing her voice through a series of poems. She writes of child abuse that was endured and assault. How sometimes you run into things that aren't good for you and that you never deserve it. How sometimes situations can cause you to lose your voice, but through healing, you learn that your voice is your own. Your story is your own. In the foreword, written by Lang Leav, they speak of how sometimes you can lose yourself and feel a loss of purpose. But the universe will always find a way to show you what your place in the world is. You can rebuild your life because you are strong enough.
Believing in yourself is hard as it is, but when you feel you've lost the desire and passion, remember that these times will end and that they are not forever. Even if you've lost your voice, you will find it once more, and it will be stronger than ever. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. The world will continue to fight for you and know that there are people who love you. Know how strong you are and how strong you can be.
