When I was younger, due to my parents' crazy work schedule, I used to walk home a lot. I hated walking home because as a young girl, at that time, guys would drive by slowly, whistling or asking if I needed a ride home. I bring this up now because the other day, I was patiently waiting at the bank when this guy a few people in front of me, looked back stared at me like I was this piece of meat. The best part about it was that not once did he ever look at my face or make eye contact. *Uses sarcastic voice* As this occurred, I found myself asking, “Why, as a woman, do I not deserve to have you look me in the eyes? Why do you just lust after my body as if I'm an object, as opposed to a human being?"
I understand that as a woman at my age, who is Hispanic and curvy, that men might stare a little more. However, I deserve to be respected above all. Before my body and before my looks, don’t forget that not only am I woman but I am intelligent, confident and I deserve to be respected. As a young woman growing up, my mother used to say I was rude because if I caught a man staring at me like a piece of meat he could just lust over, I would tell him off. I don’t want to be degraded by men who feel the need to ogle me because my young, fair skin or curvy body turns him on. As a woman, I don’t want to use my body to get anywhere in life.
At a young age, girls are taught that "sexy" is okay because you see it everywhere in life, from television to movies to magazines and even with some of the people in your day-to-day life. In no way am I saying not to do your best to look good. That is not my point. My point is that even when you look good, make sure individuals taking you seriously. All I am trying to say is that our intelligence and our accomplishments are more important than our looks.
My grandpa once told me that I couldn’t have it both ways in life. My grandpa told me a story and said there was this woman who was ugly and she used to pray to God saying that she wanted to be beautiful because no one ever looked at her and one day, God made her beautiful. The woman then got mad that everyone wouldn’t stop looking at her. My grandpa said, “See mija, if you’re ugly you’re going to get mad that no one is looking at you, and if you’re beautiful you’re going to complain that everyone won’t stop staring at you." Even though my grandpa made a good point, being beautiful or unattractive in the eyes of society isn't the issue at hand. The issue is that we're all beautiful in our own ways and regardless of what we look like on the outside, we should value the lessons we've learned and the values we hold most dear.
I am not a woman for you to play catch with and keep me captive like your pet. I am also not a woman that you play games with and try to change because you think my confidence is too overpowering. I can’t stand that when a man finally wins what he thinks is his "prize," he thinks that he is going to change her as if the way you looked when he collected you is now too much and you have to dress yourself down. I am not a woman that you can try to control.
In no way or form am I disgracing women who submit to their boyfriends or husbands. As women, we are beautiful, intelligent individuals and remember that, but don’t let your beauty overpower your intelligence. I have used my knowledge, education and my voice to get me to where I am today and I plan on doing the same thing to get to where I want to be in life. I don’t want my body to be all that people notice and I definitely don’t want my brain to go unnoticed. Yes, as a woman we should feel confident in our body and in what we wear, but we have more to offer than what people see on the outside.
To the young Mercedes who used to walk home every day from school and get whistled at, or had strange men stop and ask if I wanted a ride, keep on walking with your head high. You may not know this, but the future you is powerful and blazing trails for ways in which your voice can be heard. You’re a confident and strong individual. You could have used yours looks to get places in life but you didn’t. You remind yourself that even though you are beautiful, your intelligence is more important than any looks that you have. When you stay up all night studying, remember that it’s OK to go to school the next day in a messy bun with jeans and a tee because your knowledge will graduate you, not your looks.
