Since coming to college, I've made a lot of changes as a person. I've cut my hair, gotten a tattoo, and gotten some piercings. And honestly for once I'm happy, which is saying a lot for me.
I've also noticed since coming to college a lot of people have criticized my decisions. Some of the most common things I hear are " I liked you better with long hair" or " Aren't you worried about future jobs?" My relationship is also criticized. Here's what I have to say to all of you: its not your life, its not your decision, and I'm happy so you'll never change my mind.
About my hair: yes, I'm aware that its really short and that 75% of my head is shaved, but I also donated the hair that was cut off. I'm so much happier with my short hair; it's so much easier to handle than my long hair was. No, I didn't have curly hair, but my hair was still difficult. It got caught in everything - my clothes, zippers in jackets, backpack straps, car windows, etc. Since cutting my hair, I can basically wash it, towel dry it and walk out the door. There is no more hour and a half prep time for my hair, which being in college means I have more time to study or more than likely sleep. Also, yes, I've been mistaken for a guy, but I don't care. It doesn't bother me, because usually I open my mouth and people correct themselves. Bottom line about my hair: I'm happy with how I look. Can you say that for yourself?
Second, my piercings. Am I worried they will mess with my future job opportunities? The answer is no. If a place of business won't take me based on my looks instead of my skills, then I don't want to work there, and honestly since I'm going into psychology I have a pretty flexible degree. And no I don't care if people think that I look bad with them. I also don't care if people think they look gross, but tell me this, why do they look gross? Because they aren't clean? Well, you're so wrong. Do you realize just how often you have to clean piercings to keep them from getting infected? More than likely my piercings are cleaner then your hands. This also stems back to I'm happy with how I look piercings and all. My tattoos as well are clean, and once they are healed the ink is beneath the skin so whats the big deal?
Now, on to my relationship. I am dating the most wonderful man. He is kind, caring, funny, and he loves me for who I am not how I look. He makes my laugh and smile and has done so more times in the past months we've been dating than I had in a very long time. He's a goof ball and nuts, but he cuddles up with me and will re-watch TV shows with me even if he's already seen them like three times. He will also watch chick flicks to horror to comedies to actions movies with me, and he understands that I have to be in a mood to watch a certain genre. He is a person just like you and me. The only difference is he is trans, and both of us get so much crap about it. I mentioned some of this in my previous article. I've had people ask me are we in a gay relationship or a straight one, but you know what? It's neither. We are just in a relationship. We are dating, and he's my boyfriend. Whats between our legs doesn't define our relationship, and it's also between the two of us. No, we can't have kids the biological way, but that doesn't mean that our relationship is unnatural. There are men and woman who are infertile and can't have children the biological way either. So you can argue with me until you are blue in the face. You will never change the way I feel about my boyfriend, and you will never convince me that the way we feel about each other is wrong. We are happy, and that is all that matters in this world.
This is part of who I am, and I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm doing well in school. Aren't those the only things that matter? So, please, unless you know me don't tell me that who I am or how I look is wrong. And even if you do know me and tell me this, I'll probably just ignore you because what I do in my life is my decision and my decision only, not yours. I'll also probably not know you after that because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
