"Your sister was soooo talkative"

"You'r brother went to ___ college, is that where you are going?"

"Your sibling was so good at ___ sport, are you going to play?"

"I had your ___ in my class and they did so good!"

"Your __ was so outgoing, you should be too!"

"Your __ was so quiet in highschool, why aren't you?"

These are just a few things I heard going through school. Some of these things were said to me, and some were said to fellow students. Every time I was asked one of these questions I wanted to respond, "Well, I'm not my sister."

Now don't get me wrong, my sister and I are a lot alike, and I love her very much, but it gets exhausting being compared to someone when you are your own person. I had different dreams, different look at school and was into different things. Growing up I started looking more and more like my sister, but that doesn't mean my goal and desires become more and more like my sisters.

In high school, we used to give a kid in my class a hard time about how his brother did this and that, or that his brother could've done it, and it would aggravate him because he wasn't his brother. People need to stop comparing other people to their siblings because that was not who they are. He ended up going on to attend the same school as his older brother, but he is living his own life with his own goals.

I know that it is easy for people to compare others to their siblings or even their parents, but those things begin to grow on a kid. Some kids will start thinking, "You know people are right, I'm not as good as my brother/sister." These ideas can change a kid's thoughts and dreams. Maybe Sally wanted to be in drama, and become a theater major, but her sister was a basketball player and went to school for nursing. Sally grew up in school under her sister's shadow, and as she got into high school people would ask if she was playing basketball, or why she wasn't outgoing like her sister. They'd compare her grades to how her sister did in school, and finally, she started questioning what she really loved. Sally ended up quitting drama and started hanging out with a more outgoing group of kids. She went to school for law because "she had to go to school for something as good as her sister," and she hated every bit of it because it wasn't what she wanted to do. I get that it's easy to compare yourself or someone else to an older sibling, but please be careful when you do this. You could change these kids dreams because they think they have to do something more to be like their siblings. Don't let people lose themselves by trying to make them someone they're not.

To all of you with older siblings,

Let them be someone else, and you be you. You have your own mind, dreams, goals, and things that make you happy. Please do not let what others say to you negate that. Do not lose who you are to please others. Do not lose who you are to become your sibling, because they already exist.