Isn't it funny how the unexpected things can be the most inspirational?
I was sitting in my Spanish Grammar class today. I was listening to my professor who was giving us a preview of a writing assignment. He pointed out the word "borrador."
"Does anyone know what that means?" After being met with silence and avoidant eye contact, he explained that it was the Spanish word for "eraser."
He went on to explain how in this context, it was about a draft.
"It's the word eraser because it is a draft. It's not pretty. It's all the ugly stuff and it's going to be a mess. But it's okay because even if all the words aren't put together correctly the first time, they are your thoughts and what is inside your head. It's only a draft that can always be erased. It's not the final product."
Here he was talking about Spanish grammar and I was like Ah! Wow! That is just like life...and us!
There will always be judgmental people in the world, and they will always meet you at different points in your life. Sometimes they will enter during your lowest moments. Those people may then try to come in and believe they know everything about you and everything you've been through. When in reality, they don't have any idea who you are and what or where you've come from.
I'm sure we can all identify a period or time in our lives, no matter how short or long, that was a mess. It was the ugly stuff that brought out the shadows and the worst in us. We didn't feel like ourselves. And we think in our heads, "Wow, I wish I didn't make those choices. I wish I could go back and do it over again. It doesn't even feel like that was me. I tried and went about it all wrong. I totally missed it. I blew it."
Real talk alert: We all need to stop letting the negativity in our pasts define who we are today. And also, if not more importantly, we need to hold the same attitudes for those around us. Stop the judgment. You, me, and everyone else in the world, we ALL have a first draft. Some of us have a second, a third, a fourth, a fifth, etc.. It is not pretty. It is ugly and it is a mess. But you know what?
It's okay. It really is. Because the great thing about life is you don't have to get everything right the first time. All the pieces of the puzzle that are your thoughts, dreams, ambitions, and actions do not need to fit together perfectly on the first attempt. The chapter you are in is not your final copy. You can go back and erase, rewrite, and edit. You can add and take away. You can change the color, the mood, the setting, the tone.
At the end of the day, those dark chapters and difficult times are the ones who made you into the person you are today. One who is stronger. You are the only one who understands what you have been through.
Be encouraged and do not allow your borrador to be your completed work in yourself. Reread, edit, make changes and write again. And as for the judgment?
Erase it. You don't have room in your book for it.