Growing up, I never worried about weight. It was just a number, and standing on the scale was just something the doctor made you do at a check-up. But once puberty hit, and curves stared to appear, the scale becomes daunting, and the numbers climbed, making me feel self-conscious all the time.
As my pre-teen and teenage years rolled on by, I could not help but notice the changes in my body from year to year. No longer was I as lanky as I had once been, and only being 5'5", I felt small and stocky, and a little out of place, just like every other pre-teen, but also in a very different way.
However, even with all of the changes happening in my body, I was never considered "overweight." Compared to the standards, I was neither skinny, nor was I fat. So what am I? Next to a size 2 girl, I felt like I was fat, and next to a larger girl, I felt like a size 2.
But struggling to find a label to slap onto me, didn't just come from me. No one really knew what to call me. I was never called "fat" but I was rarely called skinny. Often, I would be complemented with "oh that is so cute," or "wow that makes you look skinny," giving the idea that I was on the smaller side, but not actually thin enough to be considered thin.
Clothes became harder and harder to find. When in one store I could wear a size small, and in another an extra large, it became increasingly more difficult to understand my body type. I had always been told that there were two categories, fat and skinny, but my clothing sizes were giving completely different
Over the years, my build has been described as "athletic," "curvy," and most recently "thick." But all of these words seem to have a negative connotation. While these words were meant to make me feel beautiful, I just felt labeled.
Recently, actresses like Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer, who are both advocates for anti-body shaming, have spoken out about this exact controversy I, and many other women, had been feeling our whole lives.
They brought forth this idea of a medium sized woman, a woman who is right between the traditional skinny and fat. In other articles on the topic like one written by Isobel Foxen Duke, this body type has been described as, sometimes a little jiggly, with rolls that can't always be seen unless sitting.
This article is not to belittle other body types, my hope is that this article helps other medium sized women feel comfortable in their skin. Anywhere you look the media seems to be throwing another body standard at us, making it impossible to achieve these ridiculous standards. Not all bodies are built the same, but every body matters equally.
I know that I am a medium sized girl. And that's okay. In fact, I am proud to be a medium sized woman. Because that is who I am.
