If you haven't watched the Netflix series 'YOU' yet, I suggest you ignore this article until you binge every episode.

For those of you who know Joe, you are probably reading this headline and wondering who I'm stalking and who all I've killed. It's not like that. It has always been extremely hard for me to build trust with anyone that I come into contact with. But lately, I found someone that I feel I can put my complete life into their hands. With this being said, I am terrified of actually doing so, and even more scared of losing them. So scared, that I resulted in tracking their work schedule and their location via SnapChat to make sure that they aren't lying to me.

I feel obsessive and I have no idea where it all came from.

I am usually a vey laid back type, who tends to just go with the way of the world. I don't obsess over people because in my experience, they don't usually stay long enough for me to develop strong, dependable feelings. But with this one, I don't know how I became this way.

I didn't realize the extent of my insecurity about our relationship until I began watching 'YOU'. Seeing Joe follow Beck everywhere, and commit these absurd criminal acts made me realize his thought process. Everything he did, in his mind he was doing to protect Beck and to make her happy. He did it all out of love.

Now, I'm not sure if I've ever been in love with another human, but me causally looking at his location, and checking in on him every now and then when it takes three or four hours to respond resembled a lot of the behavior that Joe had. It terrified me to know that I might be a damn near crazy as he.

But, I then came to the thought that it's not an unhealthy obsession like Joe's, it's my own personal fear of being hurt.

My past relationship scarred me both mentally and physically. And because of that, I was so afraid of letting someone in that when I eventually opened the doors, I became a paranoid mess.

Now that I see this, I've stopped my location tracking and I've calmed my panic for when I don't hear from him for hours upon end. Now that I know why, I'm learning to put trust in him. If he hurts me, then that's his problem. Me and my heart will be okay without him.