I am a feminist.

No, that doesn’t mean I’m angry or filled with contempt for men. Feminism seems to be a commonly misunderstood topic and, consequently, a source of disdain for many of my fellow humans. An article titled “I Am Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay ,” has been popping up on my social media feeds for the last week or so and I hate to provoke anyone with the following information, but I feel compelled to clarify what feminism actually is.

“Feminist : a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.” -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Feminism is the belief in gender equality…it’s not a scary word. If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t focus on the word, focus on the meaning.

I am a feminist and that is okay.

I need feminism because I think it is perfectly fair for parents to hold the same expectations for their daughters as they hold for their sons. When I was little, my parents made me study because I was a student. My dad didn’t take my books away in the hopes of marrying me off to a wealthy man instead of wasting time and money on my education. My parents held the same moral, social, and educational standards for me and my three sisters that he did for my two brothers. My parents were the first ones to teach me feminism.

My parents taught all their children to seek forgiveness when they had wronged another. They taught us compassion, love, and empathy. They taught us to be strong during adversity, to be self-sufficient, to stand tall. My parents taught us the same lessons and gave us the same opportunities regardless of gender.

That was feminism.

One question addressed in, “I Am Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay,” was “Why are women considered the more domestic and nurturing ones?” In the following paragraph the author stated, “Why do you think women give birth? How could you not be nurturing after carrying a child inside of you for nine months?...”

Tthere is so much more that constitutes being a good parent besides giving birth. And, no, I am not undermining birth, I’ve heard it’s the most painful experience in the world (thanks, Mom).

***PSA: Your mother is a saint for carrying you and you better let her know it.***

Anyone can give birth and tap out. Giving birth doesn’t make you the better parent. This mentality undermines a very integral part of a child’s life; the father. A good father is just as capable of nurturing and loving his child. A man is just as capable of raising the children and of actively participating in their children’s lives. And because of feminism, both parents can share the work that comes with having a family. Feminism allows a couple to decide, mutually, how to conduct their family affairs.

“…And it is completely okay to choose to stay home and be a mother because that is the hardest job in the world. It is okay to like cooking. It is okay to take care of your husband and children…”

I agree! My mom was a stay at home mom because it was her choice… a choice she had because of feminism.

“…It is okay to want your boyfriend to ask for your father’s blessing before proposing to you. It is okay to take his last name…”

When I get engaged and married, I want these things, too! (Did I mention I’m a feminist?)

“…Feminists wouldn’t have you believe these things...”

Wait, what?

Why am I a feminist?

Feminism is the reason I was not valued less by my parents because I was not a son.

Feminism is the reason I am not seen as a second class citizen simply because I have the potential to, one day, create a human.

Feminism is the reason I can vote

I am a feminist because there is no country in the world where men and women are completely equal (yes, that includes America).

I need feminism because of articles like, “I Am Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay,” that undermine the advances we have made in our society.

I am a feminist because there are still parts of the world where most girls don’t receive secondary education because their schools do not implement sexual harassment prevention rules/procedures and assault from teachers and classmates.

I am a feminist because some parents still encourage aggression and power in their sons instead of encouraging compassion and composure.

I am a feminist because millions of men suffer from mental health problems but refuse to ask for help because admitting they have a problem feels emasculating to them.

I am a feminist because there are victims of rape and domestic abuse who would rather suffer in silence rather than risk provoking their assailant.

Personally, the true beauty of feminism is in the choices it has given me. As a human, I have the potential to have a career, a family, or both. In the article, “I Am Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay,” the author pointed out that she couldn’t be a feminist because she desired a more domestic life where she could live for her future husband and children and God which is a very empowering and beautiful path to choose. But what the author failed to mention is that this domestic life she desires is an option for her because of feminism. There was a point in time where she would not have been able to freely choose this way of life.

I need feminism because a few body parts and hormones will not dictate who I become or how I live my life. My life is completely up to me because I am a feminist, and that is okay