When you ask someone the common question of how are you?, are you asking to be polite? Or are you genuinely curious? Do you continue on your way without waiting for her reply?
When you are asked that same question, how do you respond? Do you answer genuinely? Or do you give the answer deemed appropriate by society?
"'I''m good' or 'I'm fine' thanks, how are you?"
Why does everyone have to always be fine? Why do we feel it's necessary to say everything is good? And why do we in turn expect that answer?
The pressures of living in a world such as our own become increasingly more difficult. The expectation for everyone is to put on a happy face, particularly when one feels there is very little to be happy about. Showing anything besides contentment, joy, and other positive emotions has become something of a foreign concept to most people. What many people, including myself, don't always realize is that it's okay to not be okay. It's even okay to say things aren't that great. It's okay to admit when hard times hit. A common theme I've come across is the idea that if we don't talk about, think about, our tough times, that means that they don't exist, or they didn't happen. If it's out of our mind, it's not a problem. If I don't think about it, I can pretend it never happened, and therefore, no one will ever need to know.
Nice try.
Doing that actually has the opposite effect. Pushing the bad away, out of our minds, trying not to think about it...whatever it is someone may do to try to forget is a temporary fix. It will work for a short amount of time and then at some point, (usually the worst possible moment), something small will set us off. Everything goes up in flames. All those negative emotions that have been bottled up and pushed down are now uncontrollable. What we wanted to keep to ourselves is no longer a secret. This is definitely not the way most people want to be living. The people around may feel like they have to walk on eggshells, and eventually may distance themselves.
I think that sometimes this can just be because someone may not feel heard, or cared about. Sometimes saying hello, or smiling to a stranger can go a long way in making someone's day. I remember being in a negative mindset on two specific occasions, and having a complete stranger say hello to me, both times, helped to brighten my mood significantly. We need to do away with this unrealistic expectation that everyone is always good, fine, or okay, because it really is okay to not be okay.
