Speak Your Mind, Don't Let Others Speak It For You

Speak Your Mind, Don't Let Others Speak It For You

Your feelings deserve to be heard!

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All my life, I have been absolutely terrible at confrontations. Whether that meant telling the waitress at a restaurant that she gave me the wrong drink or telling a friend that they upset me — either scenario was anxiety-inducing. I simply did not want to be of an inconvenience to anyone else.

As a communications major, in every one of my classes, it is stressed how essential honest and open communication within one's interpersonal relationships is. Regardless, even with all of the clear benefits being spelled out for me, I still have found it incredibly difficult to confess my feelings and open up to others. This is mainly because opening up could potentially make the other upset, and quite frankly I'd rather avoid that altogether. I strive to make others happy, even if that means sacrificing something within myself.

However, I recently made the decision to confront one of my closest friends on something that had been bothering me for quite some time now. Although I was physically shaking while pouring out my heart to them, the feeling of pure relief I felt afterward was well worth it. Not only this, but our friendship has strengthened immensely ever since I took that leap to share my own feelings. If I had not talked about the problem with my friend, she would have been completely unaware of it, and it would never have been resolved.

Communication within any interpersonal relationship truly is key- and I will preach this until the day I die. A professor of mine once told our class that "competent communication doesn't always make things better, but it does make things clearer." By this, she meant that even though confessing concerns might not turn a relationship around, it will make it clearer to you what the other's intentions are. If your friend or significant other is not willing to listen to your sincere concerns, then maybe they aren't right to be in your life. As terrifying, awkward, and/or difficult it may be to speak up for yourself, in the end, it does make things a whole lot easier.

So, I full-heartedly encourage you to take action and talk to others about your feelings. Stand up for yourself and speak your mind. Even if that means telling the waitress that you ordered a Coke and not a Pepsi, the little things matter just as much! It is the baby steps that will get you to fully learn to own your feelings and emotions and let others know how you feel.

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Ladies, It's Good To Be Honest With The Boy You Like, Please Share Your Feelings

No matter how scared you are.

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As girls, we're often told that we need to be chased, and we need to be pursued and that the guy needs to make the first move. And even if we do want to tell someone how we feel, it's terrifying to take that first step because you don't know how they're going to respond. Maybe you'll scare them off, maybe you'll lose their friendship, or everything will be awkward for a year and a century.

Well, it's true — it is terrifying.

But I'm here to tell you that it's OK to be honest, it's OK to be share how you're feeling, it's OK to be bold. Even though it's terrifying.

I recently had the experience of sharing with a boy that I liked him, and let me tell you I was nervous. I literally couldn't sleep and my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I honestly thought I was going to combust. I had no idea how he was going to react, but I knew in my heart (and from the Lord) that I needed to share how I felt. I'm a big fan of honesty. I hate games of trying to figure out how somebody feels and what this or that text means.

So, I took the step and I told him how I felt.

I told him that I sometimes thought of him as more than a friend and that I valued his friendship and just wanted to be honest. I told him that I wasn't expecting anything in return and wasn't trying to overwhelm him. I told him that whatever his response was I could handle it and hoped we both were mature enough to move forward as friends. Yes, I was scared out of my mind... but it went well.

We're still only friends. But I have no regrets.

Because not only does he know how I feel, but I know how he feels. I don't have to constantly stress over what this or that means. And luckily for me, he was a guy who could handle the truth and talk about his feelings.

Ladies, I know it's scary to be so vulnerable and risk getting hurt. But don't be afraid to open your heart. God will open and close the doors and lead you to the right place. All you can do is be yourself and be honest with yourself and the people around you. Maybe it doesn't go well, maybe it all blows up and you're disappointed. Well, then it's time for that door to close. Who wants to be with someone who can't handle an awkward conversation every now and then?

Be honest with the people you care about. Open your heart and take a chance. And give the rest to the Lord.

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