In early September, I snatched the opportunity to go visit my Alma Mater. As my first time visiting campus since graduating in May, it was a strange, confusing, and convicting experience. I spent three nights and two days on Cairn University, and this is what I learned:

1. When you visit, it's like you never left.

I stepped on campus and felt right at home. Although I was staying in a different dorm for the weekend than my entire time at Cairn (#mightymanorteeforlife),many of my friends were still there, the cafeteria food was just as gross as always, and the Cairn students were enjoyable filled with antics, as per the usual. I felt like I had just gotten a late start to the semester! I even sat in on a couple classes with some of my favorite professors!

2. But when you visit, it's also like everything has changed.

I know I'm being contradictory, but I had some very contradictory feelings! For one, I couldn't eat in the cafeteria; I had to bring my own meals. I also had a limited number of nights I was allowed to stay in one room. There were SO many faces that I didn't even recognize because of the incoming Freshman class. Everyone was worried about homework except for me, which left me with a lot of free time that I had no idea what to do with. Plus, several things had changed in the library as well as in general around campus, leaving me surprised and a bit confused.

3. Being a Cairnite is now in your blood. (And yes, it's Cairnite, not Highlander)

When you graduate, you don't just take the knowledge of what you learned. Hopefully you can now have calm discussions with nonbelievers about your faith and be able to properly defend it, but there's something else that is quite important that you discover when you graduate. You are a Cairnite. Everything you interact with is now directly compared and related to your experiences at Cairn. I still have the urge to tell people 'no dancing on campus!' in a teasing manner when someone starts grooving. Even when I'm no longer on campus.

Not only that, but everything I do, everything I think, is in relation to Cairn. 'I learned this at Cairn', 'I never had to deal with a driving commute at Cairn', 'People were never like this at Cairn', 'Cairn always did it that way and not this way', etc. Cairn is in my blood. It's seeped through me and I can never get rid of it.

4. Being an Alumni is important to who you are as a person.

I'll be real with you for a minute; I did not expect this one. As you enter Senior year, you start getting 'the Alumni talk'. Donate to that, consider this, so on and so forth. I was like 'are you kidding? I'm graduating, I'll have better things to do than worry about my college. AKA, student loans'.

I was so, so wrong. While student loans will always hang over my head, I am so ridiculously invested in my college. I WANT to know all the details. What's the next big event? We're getting a new art exhibit? Tell me more! I want to know what's happening in my University. Because that's exactly it; it's MY University.

5. The students, faculty and staff really care about you, even when you're graduated.

Wait, let me fix that. Especially* when you're graduated. My professors and staff superiors were always interested and invested in me, through my entire time at Cairn. As a graduate, I think I was subconsciously expecting it to change. Instead, it grew even more intense. I stood in Dr. Toews' office for a half hour, chatting with him and telling him what I was up to now that I was graduated (he'd asked). I felt incredibly happy when he told me that I seemed to be doing really well in the world, because it meant that I was actually adulting correctly! Professor Gleason and I chatted for a half hour or so as well, and I even got to see some of the library staff that I used to work with!

Honestly, half of my visit at Cairn was spent visiting former classmates and friends, but the other half was spent visiting my professors and staff. I found that they were honestly interested in what I was doing now that I was 'gone from the nest'. Because really, that's kind of what it's like. Some of these professors and staff I've known since my first year at Cairn. They have watched me grow, and they did their absolute best to prepare me for the world that they knew I would one day have to enter. I hope my discussions with them made them feel that they succeeded.

I spent four years at Cairn. Some of you will be there shorter, some of you will be there longer. After all, we all know that once you go to Cairn, you never truly leave (just take a look at most of the professors! Alumni)! But in those four years, I formed a relationship. I became part of a community. A community that shaped me, molded me, influenced me and encouraged me. Cairn is part of me. It has become an integral part of who I am.

When you graduate, stay in touch. Everyone needs a community to belong to. Especially when you start a new job, surrounded by new people, it's crucial to have that familiar community to turn to. Cairn supports me. The faculty and staff are interested and excited in what I'm doing with my life, my fellow students still love me, support me and pray for me, and when things get tough I can always go to my Cairn family. In return, just as they have supported me, I support them. I may be two hours away now, but I'm only a text, phonecall or Facebook message away. Cairn is part of my family, and a part of me.

I am Rachel Krodel: daughter of Christ, novelist, Cairnite.

And that's never going to change.