As Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching, it seems as though nearly every conversation that I’ve had lately has in some way related to relationships. Spending much of my time surrounded by single college females means that much of these exchanges have shown little excitement for the holiday entirely based around love and romance. In all honesty, regardless of the time of year, there seems to always be something drawing complaints and requests for a significant other from all of my single friends. It appears to me that the younger generation has become so contradictory in our desires. Despite the pressures and temptations to explore the world of casual hook ups, it’s as if we are naturally inclined to pair off. The back and forth pull of wanting somebody, yet fearing the commitment has lead me to question why we so often lack a satisfaction from simply being single. What is it that makes us feel as though we need the love of another to feel complete?
Although I don’t want to place judgments upon a specific demographic, I have primarily seen that issue amongst many young females in my life. Whether it be by older influence, social media or pop culture, whatever the sources may be have lead to a widespread obsession with relationships. My disturbance does not come from a place of bitterness or anger toward dating at all. I have the utmost respect for healthy relationships and admire the concept of love in every sense. However, I believe that it is important to realize self-love and to develop the ability to be alone long before devoting yourself to someone else. I find it virtually impossible to achieve balance in a relationship in which one relies entirely on the other to feel whole. That is both unhealthy for the relationship, itself, along with one’s own mentality. Learning how to be alone is key to learning how to be together.
Just as there is no fault in having a relationship, there is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, I feel as though the benefits of single life are often overlooked. Without another person to concern your thoughts and actions, single life allows you to focus entirely on the betterment of yourself. Lacking a serious relationship has allowed me to not only learn immensely about myself, but also has taught me how to cultivate and maintain many fantastic friendships. Whenever my love life seems to be at its lowest point, I have decided to focus on the thriving aspects of my life rather than what is lacking. Sometimes, it’s even more difficult to find something when you’re searching for it. I have found that the most rewarding discoveries have come to me by surprise. Letting go of my own desires for romance has permitted me to become significantly more in touch with myself.
I refuse to allow myself to wait idly for some sort of idealistic romance while I could continue to pursue my loves and interests beyond relationships. The assumption that because I am alone, I must be seeking a relationship is made time and time again. Why is it so strange to be perfectly content with being alone? I feel as though far too much of my time was spent seeking the attention of stupid adolescent boys. I’d much prefer to live effortlessly and appreciate all stages of my love life rather than obsess over relationships since being single just may be what’s best for me at the moment. Single life is vastly underrated. Embrace your relationship status, whatever it may be.
