Each "relationship” has taught me valuable lessons about being in a relationship, my personal values, and things that I think are important to be mindful of. We all know someone who keeps us around for their own benefit and gives you nothing in return.
They tell you they’re not ready for a relationship, but wants you to do relationship things. They may have moments where they seem like they care about you but will fall off the side of the Earth suddenly, only to reappear a few days later. They sense when you are ready to give up, and tells you just enough to hang on. At the end of the day, you are left feeling upset, not good enough, and alone.
They don't see how much of a toll this takes on you, and if they do they don't care. Sound familiar? The dreaded “almost relationship” affects more of today’s youth than you’d think.
Out of all the advice you are given I hope you read this, and it really sinks in.
Communication is key.
If you can’t talk to each other, there is not going to be an actual relationship there to even figure out more with. Be vocal, let them be vocal. Start an open dialogue from the beginning so you are both on the same page and feel more comfortable talking about difficult things in the future.
When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
Pay attention to who people say they are, what they do, and what they say.
There is no such thing as a “Perfect” person
Someone can be perfect for you, in theory, the two of you can be compatible in theory; your relationship can make sense, in theory. But in practice, it might be a whole different story. A relationship isn’t supposed to be this hard, especially when you aren’t even IN a relationship.
Timing IS everything.
Loneliness can make room for misery, and we all know misery loves company
Do not mistake someone wanting you to keep from loneliness, for wanting you in an honest and meaningful way. And don’t allow yourself to become so lonely that any façade of a relationship will do.
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.”
Closure is nice when we get it, but chances are you probably won’t in your almost-relationship. It’s okay to move forward, to close that chapter and start anew, don’t be afraid to.
Leave the first time you feel unwelcome.
Leave when they constantly make you feel like they don't want you around. You deserve to feel wanted and if they can't give you that, then they don't deserve you.
If you think you deserve better, you do.
If someone makes you question whether or not that's what you're getting then it's time to go after what you deserve. Don’t hold back, you get one life, so get exactly what YOU want and deserve.
Don’t Try to Change Them.
I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been one to try and change the boy I’m with to be better for me and my lifestyle. You shouldn’t have to do that though, you’re with them for the sole purpose of liking who they bring out of you. If you’re trying to change them, Then you shouldn’t be together at all.
Pay attention to the red flags in the get-to-know-you-phase. I know you want them. I know you like them. And in spite of their baggage, You will think you have to have them. Pay attention and you will build a relationship off of mutual respect, and it can grow into something beautiful.
