To the guy who was my almost,
I know I should hate you and should not want any contact with you, and while that was true for a while, it’s not anymore. My heart is at peace with everything that happened. You made me feel things that I had never really felt before so I thank you for that. There was so much passion and ease with you. I put my heart out there for you and then you hurt me... but I still don’t hate you. As much as I may say that I do, I will never truly hate you because you made me feel desired and worthy... Something I had never really felt before.
Thank you for making me realize who I am and what I am worth. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out between us. I’m sorry I yelled at you and put you through such hell. Just understand that I was coming from a hurt place. You shattered my trust and left me with so many unanswered questions. I still don’t know what I did for you to do the things you did to me, and why you felt it was okay to keep it a secret. I thought what we had was more special than that. But that’s just one thing that I may never get the full answer to.
I often think about the what if’s and question whether or not it was something I did or just the timing of it all. What if we did end up dating? What would have happened? So many things that still just don’t add up to me. I don’t know if you ever knew how much you meant to me but I promise you it was a lot more than I ever let you believe. I’m not always the best at showing emotions, however, I can truly and honestly say that I miss you and the way you made me feel.
From the girl who was your almost