I am a feminist. I am also, however, sexist. I am a part of the patriarchy.

It took me a very long time to understand this. I still grapple with it sometimes, but I like to think I've gotten better at understanding my faults. I remember when I was in high school, I got into a screaming match with my sisters about women "discriminating" against men, just because a minority of men were a threat to women. I distinctly remember yelling, "I'm a feminist! I'm not sexist! I'm not oppressive! Why should I be treated as such?" But after a couple classes with the amazing Dr. Antolini, I have realized my fault. I have realized I am, in fact, sexist and can be oppressive.

I should probably qualify that statement a little, lest it someday be used against me in some political campaign. I have sexist thoughts and opinions. I was raised in a society that taught me there was a binary gender setup and that men were supposed to be strong, emotionless leaders while women were supposed to be loving, passive nurturers. I still, every now and then, realize I'm judging a woman in a way I would not judge a man. I'm proud to say that nine times out of 10, these are very passive thoughts. It's not like I'm going around yelling, "Women shouldn't be pilots!" Sometimes, though, it's the little things I say that trip me up.

Need an example? One night my lovely girlfriend and I were watching "Cutthroat Kitchen." I, for probably the third time that episode, shouted at the TV because I didn't like one of the contestants who happened to be female. Megan pointed out to me, however, that I almost never like the female contestants. I, of course, protested and said it had nothing to do with their gender. I pointed out I was a gender studies minor, a good Democrat, and a proud feminist! But as we continued watching episodes, I realized I truly tended to dislike the female contestants from the start of the show. They would do something stupid or awkward (like not getting the main ingredient for the dish, which happens to at least one contestant literally every episode), and I would instantly dislike them. The men, however, would get many chances before I decided they were obnoxious.

This exemplifies the little micro-aggressions that are instilled into our minds by society. Does my disliking female competitors on "Cutthroat Kitchen" actually effect anyone in anyway? No. But it matters! Everything matters! Women have had to live through years and years and years of being oppressed and stigmatized in ways I, as a straight, white, cis-gendered, able-bodied, Christian male, cannot possibly understand. As a male, it is my job to think about what I do. This is what it means to be a male feminist.

What does it mean to me to be a male feminist? It means I fight sexist thoughts and opinions every day of my life. It means I don't take the advantages I get because of my gender. It means I try not to allow others to discriminate against others, in my favor, because of my gender (or anything else for that matter). It means I am pro-choice because I don't think men should have any say in the process. It means I recognize that sometimes I don't have any clue what I'm talking about because there are countless things only women have to deal with (two that come to mind: menstruation and child birth). It means that sometimes the things I think are harmless are, in reality, massive problems. It means that when a woman points out my privilege, I apologize for any insult I gave and then try to learn from my mistake. It means I want my big sisters to earn as much as I make for doing the same job (although they'd probably do it better because they're very talented).

Basically being a male feminist means I recognize society has taught me and most of my male counterparts that females are different from us, and I fight against this idea every day in every way I can. Why? Because all people are equal in every way.