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If You Don't Want People Airing Your Dirty Laundry, Wash Your Clothes

Believe it or not, the truth will always be revealed.

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After a much-needed get-together with my favorite INFJ friends (shoutout to M, C, and W), I started thinking about people who have done us wrong.

I don't know about you, but I've always been the type of person who isn't afraid to rat someone out for their wrongdoings. I guess you can say I'm the "tattle tale" of the adult world.

This got me thinking: people will treat others so unfathomably horrible and then get mad when the victim stands up for themselves and makes their voice heard.

Where's the logic in that?

I had always been taught to keep quiet about how others had hurt me because "it ruins their image" or "I just need to forgive and forget. It won't change anything anyway."

This is just a way of excusing wrongdoings and keeping those who got hurt from being able to tell their stories.

People will go into a frenzy when their dirty laundry gets aired. However, if it was never there, to begin with, it couldn't have gotten aired in the first place.

If someone causes harm to others, their mistakes should be brought to light.

Choices have consequences.

For example, let's talk about Keaton Jones. His mother filmed him crying in the car talking about how the kids at school were bullying him. They were making fun of his nose shape and pouring milk on his head at lunch.

At first, I felt terrible for this little boy. That is until I found out why the kids did that in the first place.

It was revealed that he had been throwing racial slurs at African American students, which is why the students retaliated in the way they did.

Dear Keaton, if you don't want the kids to be mean to you, then don't give them a reason to be.

People only retaliate when they've undergone a great injustice.

If you don't want the bear to bite your head off, don't poke it with a stick.

If you don't want people cutting you out of their life, don't hand them the scissors.

If you don't want people writing articles about you, don't perpetuate article-worthy behaviors.

Instead of focusing on what people say about you, maybe give some thought as to why they're talking about you in the first place.

Don't reprimand people for pointing out your flaws. Instead, focus on fixing your flaws.

"Instead of spending all your time telling people how to iron out their wrinkles, focus on your own. God knows you have enough to keep you busy." -C

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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