Normally, when I go out in public, people assume I'm at least 18 years old, but there have been times when they think I'm 15. It fascinates me that people are so hesitant to talk about race, politics, and religion because it's "politically incorrect," but commenting about someone's age is totally acceptable. Have you ever found yourself in a restaurant, and the waitress or waiter won't let you order from the kid's menu because you're over the age of twelve? Or you go to the grocery store with your mom, and the cashier, trying to make conversation, asks you how your senior year is going?
This is a frequent occurrence in my life. I understand that restaurants don’t want a twenty year old ordering a child’s hot dog and paying a low price for their meal, but sometimes I really just want a small sized meal. I’m only 5”2, so a meal made for the average person is most likely too much food for me. I have gotten away with ordering kids meals before because I look so young, but I don’t always see it as an advantage.
On the other hand, when someone assumes I’m still in high school, it urks me. I literally cringe. If I’m wearing a shirt with my letters on it, then I really question this person’s judgment because I clearly have to be in college to be in a Greek organization. Usually, the person will avoid eye contact after I say I’m a sophomore in college, but sometimes this person responds with, “Oh really? You look so young!”
Don’t you love when someone judges you before they even know you? I’m being a little dramatic here, but it is so annoying to be categorized as “young” when I try so hard to be a mature twenty year old. I spend so much time setting the highest standards of work ethic, social life, involvement, and academics for myself, so I can do well in the real adult world. Even as a generation, we are constantly trying to be adults and grow up quickly. So, when people assume I’m seventeen, it hurts.
Of course- none of the people who have told me I look young think that I will interpret their response as a direct hit to my self-esteem, but sometimes it can really get me down. When I’m home on breaks, I like to run errands for my parents as a nice gesture, and whenever this situation happens, I just shut down. I usually try to be nice and make some small talk with people I interact with on these errands, but once I shut down, I won’t try to talk to anyone because the rest of that day, I’m thinking about those age comments. Right now, some of you are saying, “Oh, Maren, don’t worry about what other people think of you!” Easier said than done, my friends.
This age stigma affects my family too. As a kid, my parents used to always take my little brother and I to this cowboy corral sort of amusement park in Colorado. Even though I was seven years old, I vividly remember the lady who sold us tickets saying, “Have fun with the grandparents!” If you think people making assumptions about my age made me mad, then you won’t believe how mad these situations make me.
Look, I get that I have older parents compared to a majority of people my age, but that does not make it acceptable to comment on their ages. I often give people a hard time to make sure they know my mom is my mom and not my grandmother. I find it ridiculous that people assume she’s my grandmother because she may look old. The same goes for my father, and just because he has grey hair does not mean he automatically qualifies for the senior discount. These situations are always so awkward, and I can tell it affects my parents even though they joke about it all the time, but it is so easy to avoid talking about age altogether!
This brings me to my next point. If you can’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant or not, then why the hell can you ask someone if they are seventeen or seventy? If people are so quick to judge about age, then why can’t we talk about race or ethnicity? Why are people so afraid to acknowledge the fact racism exists in our country, and that it did not end when Obama was elected president? Why can’t we talk about the fact that there are different religions in the world? Why can’t we talk about politics without it involving a heated argument about past party leaders? Why are we so focused on not offending others based on these topics when questions about age can still offend someone?
If age is just a number, then why do we take it so seriously?
