It’s hard to meet people in today’s world. I mean to really meet someone—to get to know them, their interests and experiences. We jump through hoops and drag out time to make sure we’re keeping a comfortable level of nothingness. Conversations swirl endlessly in meaningless circles because everyone is so busy guarding themselves and trying not to scare the other person by letting them think that we are passionate about anything or take ourselves seriously. As a young woman who does take herself, and the world pretty seriously, this version of “meeting people” is made dating so much more difficult.
Well, at 23-years-old, I finally met someone! Let’s call this guy "Jack."
It was pretty much the perfect setting: coffee shop, conversation starting over my book (“They Say We Are Infidels”). He likes to read, was open to talking politics and sharing his experiences from his time in the Middle East and opened my eyes to new sides of the policies and true, daily fighting that is taking place there. We talked fitness, hiking and camping. We talked goals and accomplishments.
When Jack asked to meet again, I honestly was not aware his intentions were not entirely platonic. That is, until after we had exchanged numbers and he openly stated his interest and then followed up quickly with a sweet and encouraging text message, and even a good morning text the next day. In today’s infuriating version of dating, this scenario would be a breath of fresh air. There’s just one thing...
He’s roughly 30 years older than me.
I did make it clear that my intentions were different than his, because it's only fair, but it wasn’t without a hesitation I wouldn’t have expected to feel. The more I thought about it, the less sure I was of what my intentions actually were.
It’s not really as weird as it may seem. He’s attractive and fit; we share common interests and even some life experiences.
I will never again judge or question an age-gapped relationship, because it makes sense! There was no teasing or game playing. I was able to sit down with a man and be exactly who I am and to talk real issues and interests. There was no teasing emotions or dancing around possible attraction. He was sincere, straight-forward, attractive, interesting and he let me know exactly what he thought of me.
It took me some time to figure out what it was making him so different and unavoidably intriguing, but I think I’ve figured it out.
He knows himself. He knows who he is and takes himself seriously.
That is not something that we come across often in today’s world. But that’s what I want. I am 23-years-old. I’m old enough to know that I’m too young to know as much as I sometimes think I do, but I know myself. I take myself seriously, and I want someone who is able to meet me on that level.
I want to sit with someone I find interesting and not have to read between lines and laugh at forced innuendos to uncover some semblance of a true personality. I want them to boldly tell me who they are, what they want, where they’ve been and where they’re going because their own life excites them! I want to have coffee with someone and not have them get freaked out if I talk like I care about what I’m saying and who I am.Because the truth is, if I’m interested, I want to know if you’re interested in me. And there is a lot to me. I’m not going to wait to figure out which parts of myself will interest you. This is me, all of me. Nice to meet you.
