What I Learned After My Break-Up
Start writing a post
Relationships

What I Learned After My Break-Up

I want to share what I learned after ending a longterm relationship with a man I thought I loved.

40
What I Learned After My Break-Up
Simply Sarah Photography

I’ve always been an extremely independent person, always wanting to do my own thing, my way. Being as independent as I am, I didn’t really give any guy the time of day, I mean any guy. As much as I appreciated the guys asking for my time I just wanted to work on myself. Eventually I ended up agreeing to one guy who was wonderful and it was an okay relationship, but I learned a lot about myself and what I deserve when we broke up. Here’s what I’ve learned after my heartbreak.

1. It’s Okay to Cry

I was definitely upset when we broke up, we both knew it was the right decision, but it hurts after you spend so much time with that person and care about them. I went through a rough time afterwards; while he moved on I was still adjusting to it. I think part of the reason was because I lost myself in the relationship and I was so used to him. But it’s okay to cry, everyone goes through heartbreak at sometime or another and eventually things come along.

2. You’re allowed to be Angry

Eventually that sadness turned to anger, I was angry with him and myself. The reason I didn’t date before is because I wanted to protect myself from getting hurt. You can be angry, but you have to realize eventually he won’t come back. He’s moved on and now it’s your turn to. It’s his loss for losing a woman like you. You can be angry, but blaming him for the breakup won’t fix anything. Blaming someone is usually a coping mechanism when you know it’s not just his fault. You need to accept what is and be mature, that’s one of the greatest steps to moving on.

3. You Can’t Change a Man

One of constant things I hear from my friends who are in relationships with guys I don’t think respect them is they think they can change him. Sometimes you can’t see it until you’re out of the relationship. I always asked for more attention and time together, if he wanted to, he would have given it to me. You should never have to fight for his attention. If you have to question him, he doesn’t deserve you. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but once you realize he has to change for himself you’ll be much happier.

4. Get Out There

One of the hardest things is moving on from talking everyday and spending so much time with someone you love. I didn’t help myself when we broke up I felt alone, I lost myself in the process of loving him and forgot who I was before I met him. Slowly, I became open to hanging out every now and then to old friends I had before, I reached out to people to make plans. Along the way, when you focus on being happy and you don’t expect anything you might find someone new. Instead of sitting home upset, put on a dress and heels and go out to have fun with your freedom.

5. You Deserve More

I was blinded in the relationship, now being out of it it’s made me see how a man should treat a woman. When a man texts you, calls, shows up he’s making an effort and he wants you. Wait for a man who simply adores you. Wait for a guy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. You deserve a man who is willing to love you unconditionally just like you would do for him.

6. You Would Have Never Learned These Lessons

If it weren’t for the breakup, I would have never learned any of these lessons. A lesson hurts before it teaches. The pain and sadness passes and eventually you will find someone who is willing to give you the world just like you deserve.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Fibonacci Sequence Examples: 7 Beautiful Instances In Nature

Nature is beautiful (and so is math). The last one will blow your mind.

232770
illustration of the fibonacci sequence
StableDiffusion

Yes, the math major is doing a math-related post. What are the odds? I'll have to calculate it later. Many people have probably learned about the Fibonacci sequence in their high school math classes. However, I thought I would just refresh everyone's memories and show how math can be beautiful and apply to physical things everywhere around us with stunning examples.

Keep Reading...Show less
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

89323
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments