A lot will change in yourself and in others around you. Simply by identifying yourself, you're closing a lot of opportunities with people who will see you as different than or less than themselves. But at the same time, you're opening yourself up to the reception of a community larger than what meets the eye to an outsider.

How I came out...

I tried to not make it a big deal, because it really wasn't, in my opinion. I saw a video on Buzzfeed about stories of people who came out or who have trouble coming out (for National Coming Out Day, which I later learned), and I realized that I wouldn't have a lot of the same troubles as some of the negative stories when I came out, I felt like I'm in a generally accepting community, and those that aren't are people that I don't really know and probably won't really know in my collegiate career, so what the hell. Literally the worst thing that could happen would involve my parents being so happy they come down for a visit, when I'm a grown-*ss man who wants to be his own person.

First, after deciding to do this, I called my mom and made her grab my father and put me on speakerphone because I had "something kinda important to say." Then I just kinda said it and justified my position with "I've been this way for a while, I like both men and women, I just kinda like hot people, you both know how selfish I am already," which was mostly a paraphrase from "Orange is the New Black," which I've only seen the first season of. Their response was almost exactly what I expected: "Okay, great." They already knew and tried to act surprised at first, but then they kinda talked about it like it's been around for a while. The conversation shifted to my grades, somehow, which were good, then they said they loved me and hung up.

Then, the real test here, I made a post on Facebook. Here it is:

Keep in mind that this was after I had woken up from a 16-hour nap after being awake for 37, so I was already in a pretty "f***-it" mood. So after this, I dragged myself out of bed and went to dinner. I started talking to my friends about it, and then the most amazing thing happened: I started smiling. I tried to stop, I really did, but for some reason I just couldn't. I literally had the most stupid smile stuck on my face for the longest time. I was really happy to be accepted for who I am, and I was amazed by the support and love from my friends; I felt really good just sharing this because I've kept this inside for so long; and I was still really tired and possibly delusional.

So what changed?

So flash forward to today, the smile still comes and goes when I think about it, but for the most part I've normalized the whole situation. I've been around people for so long and admitting that I'm bisexual to them enough that I think it's even less of a big deal than when I came out. But even right now just saying that I'm bisexual to myself, in a mirror or otherwise, it just feels so good. It feels so good. I almost start crying; I've held in a lot of information in my time here on Earth, a lot of it was unnecessary. But my sexuality, a part of myself, and the fear of not being accepted is a few of the things that I never even had to worry about to begin with.

For the most part life goes on, I'm not really inclined to declare my sexuality to anyone and everyone at all times, so I don't get into a lot of arguments or get exposed to a lot of hate when I talk to people. If people don't really know, they might assume, but they can't do anything with that assumption. In terms of my actual personality, I'd say that I'm definitely more confident and inclusive of others and myself, I genuinely love myself more now that I've made this identification.

I can say that there are next to no negative differences that are noticeable in my day-to-day life. Positives are pretty basic: people know me a bit better and it's easier to weed out the true friends who will support you and what you can't change about yourself (we need to stop thinking about it as a lifestyle choice). In addition to positive differences, you get exposed to the LGBT community in a way that you never have before: as a member. The LGBT community is among the most organized communities that I have ever seen, and they definitely know how to have fun, how to find others and reach out to them, and they have your back when you need them most.

In my experiences in-person, I have not dealt with any poor reception. Others have accepted me and loved me, invited me and included me, and I'm very happy for that. I am very lucky to be so accepted, as there are others who are not met with the same open arms and smiling faces. And by being a part of the community that included me after I came out, I am supporting those that cannot or those that are afraid to do so. It really does get better, you find yourself, your family and friends, and a group of people that will accept you for who you are. Plus, I find that more and more people are slowly supporting us as time goes on, and those that don't are people that are delusional about the amount of power and influence they wield in the world.

You don't get thick skin, you get kinda like snake skin that sheds. So when someone pisses you off, you just shed some skin and walk on. Or maybe water off a duck's back would be appropriate, too. Whatever works. Ideally, the biggest and most positive change that you should see in yourself after you come out, is your confidence. You just announced to the world who you are. You sent out a war cry describing yourself and told people not to forget it, because you sure as hell won't. You did one of the most dangerous things in the world, but also one of the best things in the world.

So am I happy?

You bet your sweet *ss I am.

10/10, would come out again.

So to recap, when you come out, here's what should happen: You find the LGBT community there to assist you with your future steps, and you find friends and allies in there too. You find it easier to distinguish who likes you for you, and who liked an idea of you that conformed with their concept of modern society. You find yourself, and you get to know yourself better through another pivotal life moment, which in itself is an ongoing struggle that may never be won, but then you realize that the point isn't necessarily to win, but to cover as much ground as possible before you're done.

So my major advice with all of this in mind? Be yourself. At the end of the day, you're going to be stuck with yourself, and time (though it is a construct of human perception,) will move forward without stopping. With every second that passes, you will want to live vicariously through yourself. Do not hesitate. Those that don't fuck with you can sashay away from you with the velocity of a fucking emu on crack. You're a professional, and you came to werq. *tongue pop*