I've been there. I was just like you, and I still am in some ways.

I was the person who nobody ever had a crush on, but my friends seemed to always have boyfriends.

I didn't go to prom. I didn't get my first kiss until I was eighteen, and it wasn't with the love of my life. It seemed ridiculous at that point in my life.

Now that I'm almost 21, I have realized that my attitude came with lots of unnecessary grief, self-loathing, and despair. I wish I would have used that negative energy that I encompassed myself with and put it into writing more, or creating something memorable.

Instead, I buried myself in a deep hole that I still struggle with digging myself out of.

I thought that I needed the male gaze for validation, and that is complete bullshit.

Please know that the only person's love you need is your own. It's not easy to love yourself, especially if you've conditioned yourself not to. However, it can be done. Consistency is key to improving any part of your life, but specifically with self-love.

You really need to be nicer to yourself. We are all our biggest critics, and the way we talk to ourselves can be particularly damaging. It can also lead to other harmful behaviors. I'm not going to sit here and tell you to be better without admitting that I bully myself.

It sucks, it's unproductive, and I need to stop.

At age 20, I started dating the love of my life. He's incredible and has made it one of his goals to help me see myself the way he sees me. It's going to be a tough journey, but I'm trying to open myself up more to his love, and to my own love.

There is absolutely no shame in being confident. Onlookers, especially on social media, will do their hardest to shut down your self-love, but you can't let them. They're desperate for the courage that you radiate.

Become the person you admire, and stop comparing yourself to others.

That woman that you follow on Instagram may put on a persona of perfection, but she's going through the same struggles that you are. She's just as human as you are.

Now go be that wonderful human that you're meant to be.