Dear Carmelina,
I know we don’t always get along and that is most of the time, but that doesn't mean that you are not the best little sister in the whole world and that I wouldn’t do anything for you.
You are probably wondering why I am writing this online, but in a few years, it will all make sense, trust me on this one. You will eventually come to appreciate this. I’m writing this to you because I fear that you haven’t learned from all of my mistakes and I truly want you to do well in this disastrous world. I’m writing this because I want you to realize the incredible woman that you will grow up to be. I’m writing this because this world is a scary place, and I want you to know all the things that I didn’t.
I want you to know that life does not always go your way sometimes and things are tough. At times you will feel overwhelmed by all of your emotions and it might get hard to breathe and feel like you are dying, but I promise you that you will have the strength to conquer it. Don’t ever forget that I am always here for you, no matter what the time is and where I am.
As I watch you grow up to be the amazing girl that you are going to be, it is scary to me knowing that in 9 months it will be your first day of freshman year ( It seems so far away, but it will be here in a blink of an eye) , and you’re going to experience the same things I faced and continue to deal with in high school. Heartbreak, friend drama, peer pressure, all while trying to find yourself and where you belong. It is going to be overwhelming and scary, I am not going to lie. At some point in time, not all of your friends will get along. You will begin to drift away from the friends who you thought were going to be there forever. You will feel so lost. A boy will come and you will fall head over heels for him, and he’ll break your heart. Your friends will push you to go to your first ever party and you will sit on your bedroom floor contemplating whether you should give in or not. It will be a messy and stressful situation and I sincerely hope that you can find that you can come to me in need of help.
As for friends, you will not keep all the friends that you started high school with. People grow distant and begin to drift away. Please don’t take it personally. In the end these “friends” in highschool aren’t even really going to matter after you graduate. Everyone is trying to figure out where they belong and how they fit in. One thing that you will have to learn and accept is that friends can break your heart too. If your friend is not treating you the way you treat them, being loyal to you, don’t keep that negativity around you. I learned the hard way and gave people chance after chance, and to this day I forgive friends that hurt me terribly and most definitely do not deserve my forgiveness. It is hard not to do. As much as you may value that friendship, all of the stress and negativity and drama that it causes is not worth it. Find the friends that you can be yourself around and that you can tell anything to. Keep them and value you true friends in highschool, they sometimes can be your biggest fans and greatest motivators.
Listen to mom. Please, just do it. She knows more than both of us will ever know. I know it may seem like she is coming down hard on you or she isn’t understanding, but trust me she is doing it for the better. She really knows best and only truly wants the best for you. She wants you to be the best you can be. If anything is ever troubling you, she will be able to help you through it, unless it’s math, you’re better off asking someone else.
As for boys, you (maybe, most likely) will not come across your Prince Charming. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like dirt. Don’t be a doormat. Do not go looking for Prince Charming: let him find you. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
As for finding yourself, it is going to be difficult. You are going to be surrounded by your friends 24/7 who want you to be just like them and no sooner or later you will conform to them. Mom will push you to get good grades. It will be stressful, but it will all be worth it in the end. At times it may seem like your world is crashing down and it is the worst feeling you will ever experience, but hold your head up high. Remember that you’ll have me, your big sister to help you get through it. I’ll be right there by your side supporting you and cheering you on.
Remember that absolutely nothing in this life is promised, so live each and every day like it will be your last. You have so much more to do than be weighed down by "beautiful" or "pretty." You have a fiery heart and a wicked brain, so do not let your soul be defined by the shell. Even though you are in a rush to grow up, don’t forget to slow down once in awhile and soak in everything around you. Allow the space--between where you are and where you want to be--to inspire you, not terrify you. Never be afraid to take the road less traveled, or blaze your own path... you do come from a long line of strong women. Surround yourself with people that will hold your hand while you walk down unknown roads, and celebrate when you finally get to your destination. Know that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle, so always build others up instead of burning them down. There will be bad days, and you will wake up the next morning and try again. When you open your eyes and think “I can’t do this,” I hope you laugh and remember all the times you have felt that way. There is no mountain you cannot climb and I can’t wait to see what heights you achieve. When you get there, take in the view… you’ve earned it. No matter how many people tell you it’s impossible, chase your dreams…I promise you it’s worth it. I love you endlessly.
Love always,
Gianna
