We surround ourselves with a diverse group of individuals we call, friends. In them, we look for trust, entertainment, love, etc. Whatever you may be seeking at the time, you can find it in a friend. You want to have that mutual bond with that other person so that they are considered to be a friend. They are there to listen to you, help you, or even just there for a laugh.

No matter what the case may be, friends play a vital role in our lives.

Growing up as a military child, I’ve had my fair share of gaining and losing friends all of the time. I learned to never take it to heart because I knew I’d make new ones. Simple.

As I got older and started high school, I made five friends (not including my sis/bfff). We literally did everything together to the point that other students knew and teachers knew we were unbreakable. We rarely got into petty arguments and if we did, it was settled that day.

Long story short, if you look up what a best friend is, you would probably see me and my besties smiling next to it. Although we are in different states, we still have that unbreakable bond.

Now that the sweet stuff is out of the way, let’s talk about the downside of having friends.

I got to college and none of my high school friends came with me, so I had to learn how to make friends all over again. I eventually became friends with two females who also went to my high school. I knew them a little, but not enough to call my friends. We started hanging out more, going to events on campus, and eventually, going out partying together.

These girls were party girls and I followed right along with that. And to be fair, not only were they my only friends on campus at the time, but it was my freshman year of college, so why not follow along? I went out with them and I even drank my first sip of alcohol because of them. To me, they started to bring out this wild side of me that I wanted to have, but never could bring it out myself.

So with this, I started to gravitate towards them more. I wanted to see what else I could get myself into with them. I even slightly considered them to be more of my friends than the five girls I became friends in high school with. (Crazy, right?) We grew close and I eventually roomed with one of the girls the next year.

Here is where the downfall begins.

Fall semester of sophomore year was fine, so let’s skip over that. It wasn’t until Spring semester where things started crashing. One of the five girls who I became best friends with in high school transferred to my school. She didn’t know anyone except for me and I was planning on showing her around. I spent every day with her and made sure she knew how to get to her classes.

The other girls who I was friends with before she came didn’t really like that too much.

They started distancing themselves from me and giving me a cold shoulder all because I hadn’t hung out with them for about two weeks. I even tried bringing her around them so that we could all hang out, but they were being cold to her.

In my opinion, I wasn’t going to keep bringing her around when they would basically act like she wasn’t there. So eventually, I stopped coming around too. Usually, I would have tried to make things work so that everyone could be around each other. But seeing how fast they distanced themselves from me, and how quick they were to go talk about me over something as small as hanging out with my best friend from high school showed me one thing —they weren’t my friends to begin with.

I admit that I was sad because I did consider them to be my friends, but then I just kept realizing that not only do I have other true friends, but I also have myself.

That might’ve been corny, but truly in the end, who is going to be there for you when all else fails. You. Instead of being sad of losing friends, I realized how much of a lesson it was.

Losing those friends taught me to start working on myself inside and out. It taught me that having a lot of friends truly isn’t necessary and that the smaller the circle you keep, the better. It taught me to appreciate those who were already in my life rather than try and make new and unnecessary ones.

Now, being 20, I know how much friends should enhance your life. They should be there to help you and teach you. You should have friends in your life that bring more than just going out partying. All of my friends in my life each bring something different and I couldn’t be any happier. Getting rid of toxic friends can benefit you long term. It definitely benefited me.

If you were ever sad about losing friends, take it as a learning lesson and turn it into something positive. Make friends with those who push you to be a better you as you do the same. And always remember that you are the company you keep.