My siblings' ages range from 14 to 4. They are all growing up so quickly and time is passing me by. I by no means have all the answers, but I do know a few key things that I want them to remember. I have made my fair share of mistakes and choices that I wish I could take back, but time doesn’t move backwards. So, with this advice, I hope any young girl who reads this can remember these few things.
My three little sisters are 13, 7, and 4; I also have two younger brothers, but that's a whole other territory I don't think I could really get into. If you look on social media you are constantly seeing examples of how young girls are appearing older and older, at least in comparison to how girls looked when I was 13. It seems like they are passing right through the awkward pubescent phase we all went through and are jumping to the next part of life. Well, I want to remind my little sisters, and girls in general, that it is okay to be a kid.
It is okay to be awkward and not really know how to do your make up or have perfect hair. You have your entire life ahead of you to mess around with that kind of stuff. Focus on having fun, doing well in school, and doing things that will make you happy. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters, right?
As far as friends go, you are going to meet many people in life. Many of them will be girls that you will surround yourself with, whether you want to or not. School is a prime example of this. There will be nice girls that you consider your friends and some not-so-nice girls that won’t make you feel quite as good about yourself.
Make sure you take the time to figure out who is who in this life scenario. Having people that will build you up rather than tear you down is key to healthy friendships and will contribute greatly to your happiness. Also, don't freak out about boys. They aren't going anywhere, but you are.
You are growing and evolving, and the things that make you who you are are going to change all the time. Which means the things that boys 'like' about you are going to change, but that shouldn't matter, because their opinion of you doesn't define who you are. Boys will come and go, but you're probably better off without them, no matter how old you are.
Despite what people will say to you or around you, the only perception of yourself that matters is the one you have. The ability to rely on yourself emotionally will get you through the toughest times of your life. Sometimes these problems won’t seem ‘worth the trouble’ to other people, but if they are your problems they will matter to you, so don’t let others diminish their importance to you.
Middle school and high school will probably be the times these issues come to play the most, and will also probably be the times that this feels the most true. From a boy breaking your heart to a friend hurting your feelings to the everyday stresses of school, these are your problems, and you are allowed to feel one way or another about them. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Self-respect. I could drill the importance of this into your head all day, every day. However, it wouldn’t matter, because this is something that you have to come to on your own. Self-respect is also something that takes time to build within one's self. You can say that you "have too much self-respect to do that" but your insecurities could get in the way of that. Don't let that destroy your confidence or how you feel about yourself; we all do things we regret. It's how we move forward that matters.
It might take some time, but never give up on your worth, because you’re worth more than you know. If you ever need that reminder, you go talk to your big sister, because you matter and you should know that.
At the end of the day, just know that life is filled with its ups and downs, and you might have to learn about those on your own at times, but you’ll never truly be alone when doing it.
