This pressure is madly uncomfortable. I think as I fiddle with my fingers. Breathing deeply I contemplate how many views a video of me running out of here might get. Maybe I'll become so internet famous that I can hire people to do this for me and be on a "Banana Boat" commercial.
Maybe 150,000 views. I can hire a manager with that.
500,000. I can totally have an assistant's assistant.
"Miss? I need a decision"
Oh god... Have I been standing here the whole time saying nothing? Just staring at her? Forget the video of me running, someone is probably already taping this.
...I could still run. Sprint out of here and pretend like this visit never happened. That security footage will sell for $500 and ruin any job interviews I will never have.
"Miss...?"
OH GOD. It's fine, everything is fine, just say something. Literally anything. "That's a nice dress, where did you get it?" But she's wearing a shirt. Just say it, make the first step forward and start a new chapter in your life!
"You can charge it to my account." WRONG, WRONG DECISION.
I don't even digest what the bank accountant is telling me about how my checks will be at my address listed in seven to ten business days because I'm too busy worrying about how I spent my last check on Wendy's "4 for 4" and the semi-annual sale at Victoria Secret that I probably don't have any money left in my account.
Those chicken nuggets weren't even that good.
Transitioning into full blown adulthood is acutely one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever had the pleasure of personally knowing. Or called "adult-ing".
A·dult·ing: completing tasks that are primarily set for fully grown people.
Or literally almost having a meltdown when ordering checks to pay rent for your new apartment. Where that in that new apartment you have to cook, clean and keep up on everything or you loose your security deposit.
Sure, I have heard these words before. Movies and t.v. shows always talk about them, usually when they are having a crisis about it. Never would I think I would have the same problems as them so accurately. That must mean my love triangle is also going to come to light in the next episode (audience clapping and fun-loving music plays).
Adult-ing while difficult and uncomfortable is apart of the process of life. One I have accepted most unwillingly.
I still want don't to talk about certain serious things I need to in order to be prepared, I really would rather reruns of "That 70's Show" all day. (They were all in high school for like 8 years, how did I really never notice that?!)
The thought of buying dishes makes me freeze up and start to look in the toy aisle for that new Iron Man mask. What? The eyes light up and has pre-recorded Tony Stark catchphrases. I know you want one too. They're next to the "Frozen" Elsa hair clips, 20% off.
Going to the doctors...by myself? Fill out the paperwork... by myself? Why don't you just order my coffin now, Mother!
Don't get my wrong I am excited about moving out, being on my own, ordering checks, making my own appointments, hooking up my own internet, calling Fort Collins to make them turn on cable and the heat. It's fine! It's really fine.
Once I get the hang of all these things I'm gonna be unstoppable!
And that means going out on the town and celebrating!
...What do you mean you don't take checks?
This is madly uncomfortable.
