I remember as a naive little girl, I was proud to tell people I was adopted. I would talk to people then I'd tell them I was adopted so bold and proud. I did not understand the concept of adoption at that time, and my mom would usually intervene and cut me off.

I was two years old when my grandma (Mom) adopted my brother and me. My biological mother was 17 with the two of us and my dad (which is my grandma's son) was 19. Neither one of them were financially or mentally stable enough to take care of us. My biological mother wanted to put us up for adoption to a whole new different family, but my dad wanted us to stay in his family, and he made an agreement with my Mom that when he was stable enough and financially ready that he would take us back. My Mom agreed, but as the years went on we grew more attached to her, and he was becoming a stranger to us. When I was about 5, my dad finally wanted to take us back, but by that time my mom nor us could be separated.

Now at 16, I have come to realize, being adopted was a blessing, but also a concept I struggle dealing with now.

I have a good home life. I'm loved by my family. I go to school. I kind of have my dad in my life. The thing is, I feel different from most of my family. I'm completely opposite, and I feel empty.

I met my biological mother in 2012, and since then we have become closer. She is honestly the older version of me. I look like her, and we have so many common interests.

The problem I struggle with is trying to figure out what could have been had adoption never came into the picture. I know things would be so much different, and sometimes I wish that it had not happened. I strive to have the feeling of wholeness, but I simply cannot because whenever someone asks questions such as "Where is your dad?", "How old is your mom and dad?", or "Who do you live with?", I have to explain myself, which is quite difficult.

I'm very thankful for everything that has gone on in my life, but the hardships of being adopted hurts sometimes.