Acceptance in the pain can be hard and truly seeing that darkness surrounds you can be terrifying. I know that feeling. You're so used to falling that when you see someone reaching for you, it's bewildering and scary. But how long must you fall before you grab that hand and save yourself?
You don't have to admit it to the world, and you don't even have to admit it to your friends. Just admit it to yourself that you need help, that you are done being sad and that you are tired of the sting of tears in your eyes.
I've fallen in that dark hole so many times that I don't ever want to glimpse the abyss ever again and I want to prevent as many people from seeing its depths as I can. When you're in that headspace, those cliché sayings of reaching out and seeking help can cause an eye roll or are easily ignored but they shouldn't be. That deep kind of sadness shouldn't be something you should regularly feel and if it is, that's something to recognize in yourself and see if it's something that can be helped.
There is no one perfect way to seek help or see that you are hurting. You have to do what's best for you and what makes you want to smile again. And smile for real.
I promise you that the world misses those smiles full of sunshine and they miss the sound of your life. Those vacant eyes used to sparkle, and the world is a little duller now that they don't
Do yourself a favor. Don't do it for anyone else, just for you. Bring that sparkle back to your eyes and smile again. Recognize that you're hurt and there are parts of you that need healing. I'll bring the clichés back into the conversation because I want you to know how important this is. Life is too damn short and too beautiful to be hidden by the blurriness of tears.
Reach out, speak up, and be whole again. You're going to be scared and you'll want to deny that a deep sadness resides in you. Please don't.
There's a piece of you missing and you owe it to the world to complete the puzzle again. We miss you, babe. Come back to us. Smile that beautiful smile and feel happy again.
But do it for yourself. Admit you're hurting for yourself and then take that first step, that first smile, towards feeling whole again.