Having ADHD is obviously not easy. It's not easy for me, my friends, and especially my parents. I was diagnosed when I was 7, and to "fix" me, I was prescribed Ritalin. The Ritalin made me worse, so we tried Concerta.
Concerta made me "normal." And this "normal" became my norm for 8 years. In case you don't already know, ADHD medication gives you dopamine, slowing down your brain. Individuals with ADHD lack dopamine, which "normal" people have a good amount of. Because those of us with ADHD lack the normal amount of dopamine, our brains work faster. Fun fact: because our brains work so fast, caffeine makes us tired! Yes, you heard that right. Caffeine makes our brains work too fast, tiring us out. It's not a myth.
I came off of my Concerta the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school. I noticed a difference in my personality. I felt normal. I was able to laugh at things more easily, I laughed louder, I was more social and outgoing, and I processed things faster than I had while on my medication.
Because I was off of my medication for so long, I became used to my brain working so fast. I was used to being strategically unorganized, and I was used to getting schoolwork done as soon as it was assigned.
Then the fall of my sophomore year of college came along. I noticed that I started to get more distracted than I got my freshman year, and I asked my doctor to re-prescribe my Concerta to help me focus better. She happily complied, encouraging me to take it only when I felt I needed it; not as an every day medication.
Over winter break, I took an online course that was compressed into a 5 week format (that was really tough). One day, I took my Concerta to see if it would make me more productive.
BAM! It was like I hit brick wall. My brain didn't work. I couldn't think at all and I got very frustrated, especially because I had work to do. I felt high. Is this what normal peoples' brains are like? Is this what it's like to have a fully functioning brain? If so, this is definitely not fully functioning. Is this how you people operate? How do you deal with this? How do you get anything done?
I even drank coffee to see if the caffeine would help. It did nothing! Needless to say, I haven't taken my re-prescribed Concerta since. I think I'll stick to my not-normal brain, because that's what I like and that's how I operate and that's MY normal.
