Growing up most children are energetic and seem as if they are bouncing off the walls. A lot of these kids grow out of it and settle into being normal, functioning kids who can sit through class without having the need to get up and walk around. Some of these kids though do not and one of those kids is me.
As a kid, I was everywhere. I needed to be up at all times moving around and I had a lot to say. My body wasn't the only thing that was seemingly at 10 different places at once though, it was also my brain.
I would sit through class struggling to just focus on what we were doing. I got bored quickly, which led to me doing other things even when I should have been paying attention.
Eventually, I was diagnosed with ADHD and through trial and error, found a medication that worked for me. It helped my mind from running all over the place and helped me to sleep at night. My medication eventually helped me do better in school since I could actually concentrate now, but it did not change the fact that I was an energetic kid.
As I continued to grow up, I became embarrassed about my ADHD.
I dreaded sleepovers because I would have to take my pills at night and I didn't want my friends to find out that I took them or even why I needed them. I hated when I had to tell a friend that I had ADHD. I would say it casually but then I would feel the need to explain my self for some reason.
Just the fact that I knew that I wasn't "normal" made me self-conscious enough, but then people had to remind me of it. Teachers, leaders, and adults were always telling me that I needed to "settle down." I remember one adult told me that at an event and I went to bed that night being ashamed of who I was. I could not help it. I was just excited and my body was everywhere.
Now that I am in college I still get embarrassed sometimes when I tell people that I have ADHD, because a lot of times their response is, "oh I could tell."
Through my years of living with my ADHD and all of my personality traits that come with it, I have learned though that I need to own up to that fact that that is a part of who I am: I am someone who lives with ADHD and I still manage to focus in class AND get my work done.
In all honesty, I do believe that it makes some things harder for me than others such as sitting through a long lecture or staying on task during a group project, but that is just something that I have had to learn to deal with.
Now, will people ever stop asking me why I can't ever settle down and if I take Adderall? Probably not. But, when people do ask me these things, I don't want to be embarrassed by it because it is a part of who I am and it is not setting a good example for other kids who have it.