When you get tired of listening to your roommates blast ear-deafening music so loud the long dead body of Helen Keller can hear it, you can always go to a concert, a place to pay for listening to ear defending music so loud the dead body of Helen Keller can hear it.
It’s a magical experience all around, and thanks to the city of Santa Cruz, there is a reasonably inexpensive venue that even the poorest of college students can afford, the Catalyst. Low and behold an area for young people, and the occasional raving WW2 veteran, to have fun in an area of their greatest musical inspirations. Or, their not-so-favorites. One of the great things about the Catalyst is that it’s fairly common to spend as little as 5 dollars or even free for any particular show. It is important to remember the saying you get what you paid for. When you get into a free show you’re going to be watching a show of free quality a lot of the time. This doesn’t necessarily mean this is bad, but chances are you’re going to be standing in a room in front of a guy who’d drop a baby better than he drops the bass. Sigh. Anyway, here’s some tips to enjoying a mediocre concert.
1. Go with people.
A general rule of thumb is that concerts are more enjoyable when you go with a group. There’s just something about putting off the inevitably crippling stresses of adult hood while listening to music created by people trying to avoid those same responsibilities that ultimately just works better with others. Friends are a good choice, or possibly a date. This one is a bit risky as they might be turned off by the fact you are taking them to a free show that all parties know is not very good. If that happens, sucks to suck I guess. If your date is cool with it, you can both laugh at the fact that about the fact that over two thirds of the audience is grinding on each other in between the musicians sets. Or hey, you can be those people inappropriately grinding on each other! Why not? You’re young and have a relatively healthy pelvis for grinding. Enjoy it now, before the years of weight you carry on your shoulders push it down.
2. Meet people there
If you are the type of person into more obscure music, let’s say South African Electro Jazz, and none of your friends are enlightened enough to appreciate that type of music, then going alone may not be avoidable. It’s not like you sat through three hours of your friend’s silent film about French Imperialism or anything. But worry not! Chances are you can meet people there. Go on. Be that person saying hi to any stranger who makes eye contact with you. It’ll be fine. There’s a possibility that you’ll make some new friends. Then again the very real scenario that you’ll be chloroformed and woken up in an icicle bath tub missing a few organs could also happen. Don’t let this be a deterrent from the concert experience, as there is a pretty constant possibility of this happening anyway in your everyday life.
3. Shake Dat Booty
Aww yeah. Shake dat money maker! No matter how bad a concert is, it always help just to get ridiculous and wave that posterior around. Man, woman, other, child, lizard person; it doesn’t matter who you are, a shaken booty is a happy booty in any situation. Remember to feel no shame, do not forget about the people grinding just a few feet away from you or that guy licking that girl’s elbow. They don’t care so neither should you. Have fun. If you go in expecting a bad time, that’s exactly what you’re going to have. Just like going to the DMV. Go in sour and it will in fact be abysmal, but start waving your good stuff around and watch as the entire day just lightens up.
4. Sell the free tickets.
This one won’t necessarily make the concert experience more enjoyable, but it will make you significantly happier. Nothing like making money off of something you got for free. The legality of such an act is up in the air, as in its super illegal. So you may be seeing jail time. However, you could use this opportunity to lead a prison revolt and revolutionize the prison system. Someone’s got to do it, why not you?
5. Drink
When you go to any concert you will see people getting intoxicated on some sort of alcoholic substance. Most college students aren’t 21 yet and as a result they most definitely have never touched an alcoholic drink yet. As that would be wrong, very wrong. It doesn’t how much better it makes a mediocre concert show; rising it to levels you never thought possible in your sober state. Suddenly the DJ no one’s heard of is ripping it harder than Flux Pavilion and you’re wondering why such a divine performance was free as you try to keep from barfing up this morning’s breakfast. So, that wouldn’t happen, so maybe consider bringing a juice box. Have you ever had a frown on your face holding a Capri Sun? Probably not, so it may help raise an otherwise mediocre situation.
