It took me 15 minutes to start writing this article. I sat down, opened my computer, opened Microsoft Word, stared at the blank screen. Looked at my phone. Unlocked it and went on Facebook. Found a link to something I liked. Read that. Clicked another link. Looked at that. Closed the app. Looked at my blank page. Picked up my phone. “Hm, Subway Surfers sounds fun right now.” Played that until I died. Twice. Then started writing. My medication hasn’t even worn off yet.

You could say I’m just a pro procrastinator, which I guess in some ways I am. But is it still procrastinating if you can’t even force your brain to stay focused on a single task for more than approximately 10 seconds?

I tell a story to my friends. I start it off right – it’s in chronological order and making sense. But then I get to the part about how I ran into someone on the sidewalk. Sidewalk.

“Hey, remember that time you fell down on the sidewalk, walking home from that one party? Haha, that was funny, when was that again?”

Enter a 5-minute diversion.

Anyway… so I ran into this person on the sidewalk… And the story continues only for me to interrupt myself about seven more times.

But I don’t only interrupt myself. I uncontrollably interrupt everyone around me. I used to think I was just rude and perhaps a bit too self-centered, but I have tried to stop and it’s next to impossible. If I think of something, regardless of whether or not it pertains to what someone is saying, regardless of if it’s important, regardless of the fact that SOMEONE ELSE IS SPEAKING, I have to say it.

I can’t stay motivated. It’s frustrating because I want to work but sometimes even things like throwing out a piece of garbage on my desk seems like too much. I get so mad when after sitting at the library for eight hours all I’ve managed to accomplish is memorizing the sound of the paper coming out of the printer.

Just stepped away from writing this for what was supposed to be a five-minute break. It ended up being about 30 minutes. Went to get coffee, saw my friend Kyle, stopped to talk to him. Talked about ADD. Put creamer in my coffee. “Actually, maybe I have to go to the bathroom.” Went to the bathroom. Came back. Sat down. Changed the way I was sitting four times. Played Subway Surfers again (that game speaks to me). Started writing. Got distracted by a magazine that said “TRUMP” on it nearby. Started writing again.

I once spent an hour and a half reading the first five pages of an article. It went something like this:

Article: “In the Early Cambrian, there were...”

Brain: “I wonder what I might be having to dinner tonight. I really hope it’s good because I’m extra hungry today. OOH! Maybe it’ll be mac and cheese like last week. That was delicious.”

Article: “…and seven species of land plants…”

Brain: “You know, I forgot to water my plant today. I hope it’s not dying. I should really look up some facts on how to take care of it better. *looks up facts*”

It’s around this time that I realize I haven’t actually read a single sentence of what my eyes were scanning over the whole time. So I go back to the beginning and the cycle starts again.

Oops, I was late to class. I got too focused writing this. That’s also a problem – I get hyper-focused on things I’m really interested in and lose track of time. I’m late to everything because I almost always fail to keep myself on schedule.

When I’m not on medication I’m always moving. Even on it, I move more than most people. Two of my most popular motions are jiggling my knee, or both knees, up and down, and picking at my fingers. The good thing is I learned that I burn up to 300 calories per day just from fidgeting! Who needs the gym, am I right?

I don’t get mad at people who take Adderall and don’t need it. Whatever. Let them live their life. But it’s a completely different issue to need Adderall to function like a normal person and not want it. I don’t want to be on medication all the time, but in the few weeks since I have been prescribed, I feel like I have done better on my assignments, actually understood and fully listened to what my professors were saying, and did about 10 percent better on the tests I’ve had than I usually do (despite studying for the same amount of time). When I wasn’t on Adderall, writing a paper once took me 5 hours. And I only got halfway through. When I took the Adderall, I rewrote the exact same paper in an hour and a half.

It’s a daily struggle and it’s more difficult than I recognized it as being before I started taking Adderall. It’s incredibly frustrating not being able to control your own brain and leads to people thinking of you as lazy and unmotivated. To my friends and family — have patience for me and others like me please. Don’t let us interrupt you all the time, but have patience if we do. Try to enjoy our endless energy and rapidly-flowing ideas. And to everyone else like me — don’t feel that ADD isn’t a legitimate mental issue. It’s a challenge that we were born with and it is extremely difficult. Don’t let anyone downplay the effect that it has on your life but also try not to let it rule you. And to everyone — just know that ADD is so much more than just “Hey look! That’s sparkly!”