I might be a little biased, but when it comes to dating, I consider myself to be a really great girlfriend. There's nothing I won't do for someone. If I can drop absolutely everything I have to do in order to be there when I'm needed, I absolutely will. You don't even need to ask twice.
I might suck at cooking, but I'll cook for you anyway. I might not have much money, but I'll always offer to pay for things. I don't have much gas in my car, but I'll always offer to drive. I might have had a long and stressful day, but I'll rub your back before bed because I know you're tired too. I'm not afraid to spoil my man the same way I'd like to be spoiled myself. I might be a little needy, but I'm not greedy. I do more giving than taking. I make sacrifices and I don't expect much, or even anything at all, in return.
And so after he broke up with me (over text might I add) I had some time to really think about the situation. The best way I can describe that relationship is that I was both happy and miserable all at the same time. The only thing I wanted to do all day was to be with him, but 15 minutes after being around him the only thing I wanted was to be alone.
But despite that, I didn't let it show. While we had our petty arguments about stupid things, I really did think we would be together for a while. I had no problem driving 45 minutes to his house multiple times a week, paying for our dinner, and then once again driving my car 30 minutes to the city just so we had something to do. After listing all of the things out that I would do for him, I still don't see a clear explanation as to why he broke up with me (but I'm sure as hell glad he did!)
It wasn't until recently that I discovered how a girl should be treated in a relationship, and up until then I have let guys walk all over me. Girls need to be handled gently and spoken to with considerate tones.
While it's okay to pick on me about silly things, it is definitely not okay to bring me down over something that's out of my control. While it's okay to let me pay for some dates, it is definitely not okay to expect me to pay for all of the dates (especially when you have a full time job and I made very little money from the summer babysitting job I had). While it's okay to take my car places because it's nicer and gets better gas mileage, it's not okay to expect to always take my car and never offer to put gas in it.
So even though I was upset for a while after breaking up, I don't miss him enough to ever take him back. I don't miss being walked all over and taken advantage of. I don't miss setting an alarm for 5:00 every morning just to call him and make sure he's up for work. I don't miss spending my money on things I didn't want to spend it on. I don't miss driving all the way to his house only to get in an argument. I don't miss the lies. I don't miss the made up stories. I don't miss the way he would ignore me when he was mad. I don't miss the way he made me feel over stupid little things. I don't miss anything about him at all.
I am so glad to finally realize that it's not me who is at a loss here, because how could I lose something when I never gained anything from the relationship in the first place?
