We hear it all the time: actions speak louder than words. People tell us things everyday and we constantly wait for them to prove it in their actions. Whether it be anger, irritation, infatuation, or love we want a physical representation of their verbal reassurance. But what happens when the actions don’t correspond to the words? How do determine what is true and what is not? How do they really feel? Actions or words?

I think it’s hard to say because in all honesty when we look at someone's actions we see what we desire. We twist every interaction to fit our thoughts. When you were younger if a boy teased you he liked you, but what if he didn’t what if he was just mean? It’s little white lies in our own mind that make it hard to know whether someone else’s actions are true to what they believe. Our own perception distorts what someone truly feels. If you feel that someone is indifferent toward you wouldn’t you assume they are always angry with you? Even though their actions might not show it, our mind perceives it.

When you hear someone’s words you take them to heart. This what they truly feel. They are telling you this is what they need or want or don’t want and that is how it has to be. You accept it because how can you tell a person that their words, their own thoughts are incorrect. You can fight it and deny it, but when it comes down to it that is what they mean and how they feel. And yes people lie, but should go around thinking everyone is lying because it’s not what we want to hear? No, certain things we have to accept. We take them to heart so we can address the issue internally - and externally if needed - and we move on.

All in all, it is easier to excuse someone’s actions and someone’s behavior than to excuse something that they say to you. When someone is angry at you we chalk it up to them having a bad day, but if they tell you they are angry at you and exactly what you did to make them angry everything changes. If someone treats you like they love you and care for you, you reciprocate the actions, but when someone tells you they love you warmth rushes over you and that validation and reassurance comfort you. Actions are an important indicator of how someone feels about you, but we make excuses, we push aside actions because the story isn’t ending how we hoped it would. Words seal the deal. When your words correspond with the actions that you put out into the world people know what you feel and think. It’s not actions or words, it is words and actions. It is how your actions back up the things you say, or how your words back up your actions. One can’t be without the other. When we are honest with ourselves our words support our actions (or vice versa). So which is true for you, actions or words?