I didn't want to write an article that relates to the readers, I wanted to write this article for me. To spread my story across the internet. Depression is a very serious thing. It's nothing to joke about. In this article you will read a poem I have written, and then you will read my story. I'm fine now, I haven't been better, but I really needed to let this out, and to tell the internet about Depression.
This article will be triggering to some, but I wanted to tell everyone YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. People go through everything you go through, but different.
I will be talking about my story through my freshman year of college. Its not to bash anyone or anything. It's just how i feel and it feels really good to get this out and in the open.
This, is my story.
Dangling on the edge
Don't know what to do
I see everything below me
Just keeps going on
Everyone is walking
Everyone is laughing
Then there's me
A girl who is unhappy
A girl who doesn't know right,
From wrong
I go to jump
But something grabs my coat
And pulls me off the ledge
There's a person
A person who I can't see
I can't see their face
I can't see their eyes
I can't see anything
They just take me and hold me
And never let go
I see tears
Coming from my eyes
I see me squeezing this person
Who I don't know
So tightly
"It will all be OK"
I let go of the person
And I look down over the ledge
I see sirens and ambulances
People surrounding an accident
My accident.
I have had depression pretty much my whole life. I have been bullied, I have been called names, and made fun of behind my back. I have been stabbed in the back by ex lovers, or ex friends. I am also a very socially awkward human being.
When I got to college in the Fall of 2015 I was so happy and excited to start new, start fresh. My positive reputation didn't last that long. I was talked about with negativity, I was harassed, and rumors started going around that I had slept with everyone on a men's team.
I lost friends, and my anxiety and depression got to me. I hit my breaking point
I cut myself for the first time.
I stopped taking my medication. Some days I thought of overdosing and just wanted to die. College was supposed to be very important to me. I was excited to make friends, not enemies.
When I left college for the summer, I thought I wasn't gonna go back, but I am, and I am gonna grab that college by the neck and say "I am here, and I ain't leaving b***h"
I have got the strength and I have got the energy to go back and do better, and I have friends who have my back and won't leave.
Depression isn't A Phase its not A Choice I am diagnosed with Depression, and Anxiety, and ADHD, Also some Bipolar! This time I will take my medication and I will work better.
Why?
Because I am strong!
Everyone goes through something. YOU can't just stop and give up! YOU have to fight! YOU have to win! YOU have to be YOU. Don't let anyone get into YOUR head.
I am Rebecca Kay Stefano, and that was my story.
