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An All Access Pass To The Mind Of An Elite Procrastinator

The process of procrastination

Jamie Kerner

Nov 21, 2016

University of Maryland College Park

An All Access Pass To The Mind Of An Elite Procrastinator

I am a procrastinator. I practically procrastinate everything I do. I even procrastinated while I wrote this article.

I excel at procrastination; it definitely is one of my strong suits. It is not easy to excel as a procrastinator, it comes with years and years of practice while you dodge responsibilities and work. With this prestigious title of "elite procrastinator" that I hold, I have come to note the stages of being a procrastinator. Here is an all access pass to the mind of an avid procrastinator.

It starts with the assignment of work.

Work is assigned or responsibility is given. You shrug it off, thinking you have plenty of time to work on it between now and the due date. Now is not the time to get ahead of yourself with work, but rather time to watch Netflix instead.

A little more work is assigned...

You begin to panic a little, realizing you have more responsibility than you originally intended. But have no fear, you still have PLENTY of time to get your work done, just not at this moment.

Realization that you need to begin your work...

The panic attack becomes real after you realize how much you need to do. Time to get to work! But actually, let me just check Facebook really quickly, and then watch that new YouTube video. Oh, and while I am at it, let me stalk my friend's friend's cousin's friend on Instagram! Waaaaaait...... what am I doing?!?!? I was supposed to be doing work!!! Just panicking a little!!!

All assignments due tomorrow...

Ok, now it is seriously time to get to work!!! No procrastinating this time!!! I have so much to do, now entering panic mode!!

Start doing the work...

Wow, I wrote my name and header for my essay, I am making so much progress. Maybe I can take a quick little break to reward myself for all of the work I have just done!! Let me just get a quick snack, check all of my social media accounts, and then start writing in my group chat about some new gossip I just heard!

An hour later...

No! No! No! How did an hour just go by?!?! I told myself not to procrastinate!!! I NEED to get back to work now. I refuse to take anymore breaks until I am done with anything. Now entering panic mode!!!!!!

Panic Mode...

It is time to crack down and get everything done. I need to eliminate all of the distractions around me. I can do this; I'll get all of this work done. No one bother me until I am done with this work!

Hours full of procrastination and a little bit of work later...

I am so proud of myself for finally getting through all of this work. I knew I could do it. I am tired though, time for a nap! Can't wait to procrastinate a lot until the next due dates!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An All Access Pass To The Mind Of An Elite Procrastinator

The process of procrastination

It starts with the assignment of work.

A little more work is assigned...

Realization that you need to begin your work...

All assignments due tomorrow...

Start doing the work...

An hour later...

Panic Mode...

Hours full of procrastination and a little bit of work later...

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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