“You need to stand in your own emotions and accept them, bath in them and understand them.” Words from a wise friend who tells me it is okay to be alone. I used to never want to accept that. After being in a relationship and relying on someone for years, I find it hard to stand on my own. I turn to friends, family and any boy that comes my way to make me happy. But how come I cannot do that myself? Research shows that it only takes 21 days to form a habit. So after talking to someone every day, all day, for over three years, it becomes a norm to depend on someone to make me feel like I am important. I am afraid to break the norm because it is so familiar.
“You need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.” To choose solitude is a choice that makes me uncomfortable. When standing alone I have to deal with my insecurities. What do people think of me? Do they even know I exist? The chilling feeling of asking “Who do I have?” and knowing that all you have is yourself is a scary thought. The warm words from a friend or romantic partner saying “I am here for you” is what has always kept me from the coldness of being lonely. Deep down inside I imagine my brain screaming “Aren’t I enough?!” but I choose to ignore those cries for help.
“You need to love yourself before anyone else can” Being alone means working on yourself. Solitude demands me to be stuck in my own thoughts. I don’t know about you, but that is scary to me. The fear of being unwanted and undesirable are in full force when I have to face the fact that I am the only person who is giving myself attention. I love the way I treat others. I cherish their good qualities and try to help them work on their insecurities. I refuse to do this for myself, though. I love who I am when I am with other people, but I hate myself in solitude.
“It will either be a blessing or a lesson.” Losing someone who had an important role in your life happens for a reason. The time being it may seem like the pain will never go away. Did he really mean what he said to me? Why was he trying to hurt me? How does he move on with his life without thinking once about me? He/ she may come into your life and change it and it can either take 3 weeks or 3 years. Either way, it depends on how fast you fall. I went from being build up on the highest pedestal to being knocked down into the depths of isolation. What I need to realize is that he was a lesson. I need to learn to be strong enough to pick myself back up after he tore me down.
“You should be enough.” To be alone is not lonely because I have myself. I may not realize that now but I will eventually. Once I dedicate my time to myself and I realize my worth. I will never feel alone.
