Growing up with an absentee parent is difficult. In many cases it can lead to children acting out or even becoming absentee parents themselves. I am the child of an absentee parent and it has been the most amazing that to have ever happened to me.

I always have my mom and many close family members. My dad would sometimes come around during the holidays or important events and bring a gift and give a lame excuse as to why I hadn’t seen him in so long. In the beginning it really bothered me. I was always angry when I saw him and I was very bitter at the new life and family that he had started. As the years went on the anger dwindled less and less and now I feel only the occasional pang of anger. I was angry because I didn’t feel good enough. I was angry because I didn’t feel wanted by my father. He always made sure to tell me any mistake I made and he always did it harshly. I never knew him to be a kind or sensitive man even in my early years. I found myself constantly looking for approval that I would never get. I found myself carrying the burden of feeling constant resentment when he was brought up.

I decided that I wasn’t good enough to carry out a traditional academic education and attended cosmetology school to try to make something out of myself. Upon the completion of cosmetology school I found that this career wouldn’t lead me to the happy life that I desired, and with the encouragement of my mom and a few close family members applied to college and got accepted to Oklahoma State University. It was then I realized that the constant doubt and lack of approval from my father had caused permanent damage. I felt like I was doomed to live an unhappy life until the moment that I was accepted into school. College was always an unreachable goal for me until the moment that I got my acceptance letter.

After attending school for a year now, I realize that my father as a whole was, and is currently, wrong on so may levels. I was hindering myself from getting an education as well as many other things. He put down someone that he had the potential to be so proud of. Many young adults with absentee parents use this as a wound while I chose to use it as a weapon. My goal is to inspire everyone around me. I want my siblings to see the blessing that I see in this seemingly bad situation. I want the people around me in similar situations to know that they can also turn around their own lives. I am not who my absentee parent is and neither is anybody else. Growing to become successful within my own standards is becoming such an amazing experience. Many thought I would turn out to be like my father and in some ways I am, but I also became my own person in the process. I hope that sons and daughters with absentee parents realize that they too can become the person they have always wanted to be. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that no one is dealt more than they can handle. I believe that a person’s outlook on life is everything. Believing in myself is such a wonderful feeling and it allows me to become positive in so many other aspects of my life. My wish is that others can fight the temptation of falling prey to a parent that was never a part of their lives to begin with. Happiness is the key to living a full life and everybody should be able to be just that. Having an absentee parent allowed me to find myself and to better myself and for that I am forever grateful to the father who never cared.