Content Warning -- body image/eating disorders.
Do you love your body?
I haven't always loved mine. I struggled with a pretty serious eating disorder for three years, but somehow managed to come out the other side stronger and more confident. It took me much longer than it should've to realize that my body is nothing more than a vehicle from which I see the world. It's flawed, but it's amazing. It allows me to run, dance, and hug, and how it looks from the outside is no indication of what kind of person I am on the inside. Unfortunately, I know many people who took way longer than three years to figure this out. In fact, most young women my age (and plenty of men as well) still haven't. In this article I will be focusing on body image issues for women, not because I think male (or gender queer) body image issues don't need to be addressed (they most certainly do), but because it is the only thing I have experienced, and I feel unqualified to speak about these issues for other genders.
We live in a society that conditions women to believe there is something wrong with our bodies. Magazines preach the importance of having a "beach body" for summer. Billboards display models photoshopped to perfection, training our eyes to become extra sensitive to any physical flaws on our own bodies. Businesses spend billions of dollars to ensure that women feel insecure enough to buy products that we're convinced will make us reach our society's arbitrary standards of beauty.
Why is it considered more social acceptable to hate on your body than to express your love for it? We've been taught to refuse compliments and to judge ourselves and others for not complying to false ideals set by mainstream media. For most of my adolescence, I thought the only way that I could love, or even tolerate, my body was if I looked a certain way. I didn't think I deserved to feel confident in my body exactly as it was. I'd tell myself that I would allow myself to love my body once I lost a few more pounds or could fit into those skinny jeans again. I'm sure you've probably told yourself something similar.
However, the truth is that you can't build self-confidence by spending hours at the gym or undergoing calorie-restrictive diets. Self-confidence can only be learned through total acceptance of the person you are right now. When I recovered from bulimia, I gained over 20 pounds, but I didn't lose a single friend because of this. In fact, no one even noticed that I'd gained weight. I was terrified of being judged for my expanding hips and thighs, but in reality, everyone has his or her own insecurities to fixate on. As I was recovering, I saw one of my best friends descend down the same path I'd stumbled through three years before. To fixate on my own body image issues would be to leave my friend without a support system in her time of need.
When you love someone (family, friend, or romantic partner) do you love them based on their physical appearance, which can change at any time? I can only speak for myself, but when I love someone, that love is unconditional. So why is it so hard to extend the same unconditional love toward ourselves? Your friends and family don't earn your love by having a thigh gap or a flat stomach, and you shouldn't have to earn your own love this way either.
Our bodies are a biological miracle. They allow us to breathe, walk, see, hear, and enjoy food! We wouldn't be wired to enjoy the taste of food if we were meant to restrict it. If you're still fixated on something as insignificant as the number on the scale, then you're not fully living. You're only given a limited time to live, so don't wait until you have perfect hair, abs, or clear skin to appreciate and love yourself. I know I want to live an existence that is much more significant and powerful than what I look like. If you feel the same way, then maybe it's time to reconsider the time you waste focusing on something as unimportant as your physical appearance and redirect that time and energy to something you're truly passionate about.
If you're reading this, I challenge you to eliminate negative body talk from your vocabulary. Look in the mirror, and instead of critiquing your face or figure, allow your heart to expand with self love.
Say it with me: I love my body.
