2018 was many things for me, as I'm sure it was for most given the current socio and geopolitical climate. Besides the obvious highs and lows, the year gave itself to people in many different ways. The first half of my year left me heartbroken and exhausted. Not only did I lose the first love of my life, but with her, she took a version of myself I would never be again. The year also brought the end of high school for me. I was forced to leave behind the most confusing, chaotic, enlightened, and precious experiences of my 19 years. A life it had taken four years for me to build, was not mine to know anymore.

But 2018 brought change of a positive nature, too. I tied up old loose ends, started college, made new friends, and challenged myself in ways beyond the academic. 2018 taught me to reflect on my past self, not with judgment, but with acceptance, forgiveness, perspective, and purpose. It taught me to live with vulnerability, to find grace in my many failings, and to go on with the conviction of knowing that choices I make are good because my whole heart is in them. I suppose my great losses gave way to these great rewards. And I look forward to seeing what love and learning awaits me in the new year.

While I can't say I'm sad to see 2018 go, I can promise it will be looked back on with relief, appreciation and, at the end of the day, an indelible sort of longing and nostalgia. Like the years before it, and the ones ahead of me still, 2018 will be apart of me forever. Thank you to everyone who made it what it was, even those no longer apart of my life. Especially you.

I hope everyone's 2018 was just as formative as mine, and their holidays happy.